Child Of Love

Child of Love
C/P
rated G - NC-17
Part 1/17
Summary: How would Voyager crew
handle having a child that use to be Tom?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tom Paris didn't think things could get any worse they already were. What could get any worse than being stuck with Commander Chakotay and Tuvok?
Tom shook his head muttering, "Someone doesn't like me, they really don't like me.' Tom looked over at them, Chakotay's was next to him in the copilot seat going over the readings that was pouring in from the planet below.
Tuvok was just there to keep an eye on him, or so he thought but he knew that the Captain had her reasons for sending Chakotay his lover - who he was fighting with - and Tuvok was there to talk to them.
Tom was hurt by what Cha had said to him earlier in the week, "Grow up Tom they beat you up Tom. You have to stop covering for them. The world doesn't work around you, you know that I can help you, it's time to tell us so that they won't hurt you again. Oh that  right ..... you won't tell because you still think I'm your old man. Cut the crap out Tom.'
He watched as his lover whacked him and walk away.
Tom shook his head to forget it. He knew that Cha was right, he fucked up yet again. Once more he hurt someone he cared about.
Chakotay felt bad about hitting Tom, he knew that he shouldn't have done that. Tom's life was filled with his father bashing him. And he really loved Tom with all his heart. There was no excuse for him to hit Tom. He just proved that he was just like Tom's father. He also knew that till Tom started letting him in they couldn't move past it.
He found out about the last bashing of Paris by Harry - who thought that he knew - but of course, he didn't. Harry had told him that he was in sick bay because the crew did Tom over yet again, shit, you would think that after five years out in space they would start liking Tom. God, what was there not to like? Once he got over his feeling for Tom he saw the little boy who needed love more than anything not more bashing.
Tuvok and he couldn't do anything till Tom told them who was in on the bashing but as usual Tom wasn't saying a word and that was what got to him. He didn't like seeing his Tommy hurt. They had only been together for two months and Cha loved him more than anything. He knew that Tom loved him as well but Tom didn't tell him.
Tom heard his lover sigh. He knew that he was the cause yet again.  If only he could tell them who was bashing him but he couldn't if he did, he would lose Chakotay forever and he couldn't do that he loved Cha too much to lose him. He would die if that happened.
Tuvok watched them both knowing that Tom was not going to say anything because he thought that he was protecting Chakotay. Tuvok almost smiled, he didn't think that Chakotay needed it but he knew that Tom did and that one day they would kill him knowing that Tom wouldn't talk to them. Tom would never tell.
Tuvok and the Captain knew that they had to get him to talk or the people involved would kill him one day. They didn't want Tom dead, even Tuvok had learned to like him.
The Captain thought of Tom as her little brother, Harry loved Tom as his brother as well. They were close and Harry was scared that one day they would kill his best friend. B'Elanna was also closer to Tom, than when they were going out, she didn't know who was behind it and if she ever found out they would be dead for hurting her friend.
Landing the shuttle Tom frowned at his readings there was something odd about them. Since they landed they had changed and he didn't like it one bit.
Chakotay noticed that Tom was double checking his console, "Tom, what's wrong?"
Tom looked up him forgetting for a moment that he was mad at Chakotay, "Not sure Cha."
Chakotay and Tuvok noticed the slip of the tongue. "Okay Tom, can we keep track of it with the tricorder?"
Nodding Tom replied, "Yes we can."
Chakotay looked over at Tuvok and asked, "Ready Tuvok?"
Tuvok picked up his gear and nodded. Chakotay headed to the shuttle's door and opened it.
Tom got up stiffly from his seat and started to pick up his gear that he needed for the two nights and three days they were on this godforsaken planet.
Hoping that he would last for that time, at least he knew that Cha was not too far away if he needed him but they weren't talking, so Tom was on his own with the nightmares. He knew that he had to cope without Chakotay.
Chakotay knew that Tom would find it hard without him but Kathryn told him not to go to Tom unless he asked, or it god really bad.
Tuvok had received the honor of trying to calm Tom down and Chakotay knew that Tuvok would lose the battle and then he would have to step in and calm Tom down. They had to get Tom to talk before those fuck-wits killed his Tommy.
Tom knew of their mission to get him to talk and he didn't like it one bit, but they were just following the Captains orders and he would do anything for her.
Following the others out and locking the shuttle up just in case the natives came this way and found the shuttle, they covered it up and blended it into the country side.
Heading away from the signal of the village they had spotted from the shuttle, Chakotay led the way with Tom behind him and Tuvok bringing up the rear. He watched as Tom started to lag behind, often falling. Tuvok was well aware that Tom was still in a great deal of pain from the bashing that he received before they left and he also knew that Tom didn't go to the Doctor either.
Tom knew that he should have gone to the Doctor as Harry told him to but he lied and told Harry that he was fine but he was nowhere near feeling fine. They had busted a couple of ribs and something else that he couldn't quite figure out yet but what ever it was it was killing him.
Tom knew that Harry told Chakotay and Cha came down on him like a ton of bricks and then involved the Captain and Tuvok.
Tuvok had tried everything to get Tom to talk. Tom clamped up just like he did when he was a kid. There was no way in hell Tom was gonna tell them that Jackson and his buddies were bashing him senseless. They were a mixture of Maquis and Starfleet who had joined together because of the common ground that they shared - their anger for Tom Paris.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chakotay was really worried about Tom. They had only been going for an hour and Tom was slowing down and falling behind them.
Tom was hoping like hell that Chakotay wouldn't notice that he was lagging behind, the pain in his side was hurting, and he felt like shit.
Suddenly Tom noticed that they were being followed. Knowing that Chakotay and Tuvok could get away but he would only hold them up. He called out, "Chakotay, it's time to split up. We have the locals following us."
Chakotay looked at his reading that confirmed what Tom was telling him, "Okay let us split up, and meet back at the shuttle. Remember that if anyone gets caught we will come back for you no matter what. Now go, take care."
Tom knew that Chakotay was talking to him when he said that, Tom was the weak link in the group. With that in mind, Tom headed straight for the natives so that Chakotay and Tuvok could get away and go for help.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chakotay got to the shuttle at the same time as Tuvok. Tuvok ran a scan to see if the locals came this way. Nodding he said, "They didn't come this way Commander, and no sign of Tom either."
Chakotay cursed, "Fuck, damn him. He's been caught and he was hurt. He knew that so he sacrificed himself so that we could get away."
Tuvok uncovered the shuttle and opened the door and headed to the helm. Doing a quick scan of the planet, sighing he said, "You're right, they do have him and he is barely alive."
"Shit."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tom was tossed into a cage right in the middle of the village. He felt weird, they made him eat and drink, Tom couldn't hold it down bringing it straight back up again. Tom tried to clean the mess up but the native kicked him in the ribs. Screaming in pain Tom let the pain knock him out.
Coming to Tom knew that there was something wrong, really wrong, he felt really weird but he couldn't put his finger on it then Tom went back to sleep again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chakotay said, "Well, we better leave and get some help from Voyager and get Tom back like we said we would."
Tuvok agreed, "Yes Tom will need the Doctor this time. I scanned him just before we parted. I hate to say this, I know you care for Tom a great deal, but if we don't get him back soon he may die. Whoever he is covering for might just get their wish."
Looking over at Tuvok Chakotay replied, "Not if I can help it. If Tom dies I'll find the pricks and kill them myself with my bare hands and if I have to spend the rest of the trip home in the brig for killing them it would be well worth it."
Tuvok nodded, "I'll join you."
Frowning Chakotay said, "I thought you couldn't stand Tom."
Tuvok almost smiled, "But I do, he is a great friend to me. He helped me through the Pon Farr. When I needed help he was there, not for the sex, we didn't go that far but Tom offered to, but he was starting a relationship with you at the time."
Chakotay nodded, "That sounds like something Tom would do to help his friends through their needs but refuses help from us when he needs it. But not this time I'm gonna help him whether he wants it or not."
Tuvok nodded his agreement. He would help Chakotay, he couldn't let Tom die. Sitting at the helm Chakotay started getting ready for leaving the planet, he started the check for preflight.
Tuvok could tell that Chakotay was worried that they wouldn't get Tom back alive, "Chakotay, we will get Tom back. I know Tom means a lot to you and Harry. He also means a lot to me as well I care about him a lot. Tom is my little brother."
Chakotay smiled a sad smile, "I didn't think Vulcan's express their emotions like that."
Tuvok nodded, "We don't usually but this is Tom we're talking about, now lets go and get help for him."
Chakotay started lift off and headed for Voyager.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Kathryn Janeway was on the bridge as Tuvok and Chakotay made contact with them. "Captain, Tom is missing we need Voyager to beam him off the planet."
Kathryn thought to herself, "Not again why is it always Tom? I'm never letting Tom off this ship again.'
Out loud she barked out, "Helm, take us to the planet heading 2518 warp six."
Bateheart who was covering for Tom replied, "Aye Captain, heading 2518 warp six."
Kathryn pondered, "When will Tom get a break? All his life he has had crap thrown at him. God when is it gonna end?'
Meanwhile Tom came to, feeling really funny, the locals did him over yet again, trying to make him talk, they made him drink something really foul he tried to spit it out but for that he got a punch in the face and a few more kicks to his midriff.
Chakotay and Tuvok landed the Delta Flyer in the launch bay.
Tuvok shut down for the Flyer while Chakotay reported to the Captain. The Commander headed to the bridge where the Captain was waiting for him.
Letting his mind wander towards his lover - remembering that they had fought just that morning- he wished that he could take back every word he said to Tom that morning. He wanted his Tommy to know that his Cha loved him with all his heart. He wasn't sure if Tom knew that. No matter what he did that Cha would love him.
Chakotay whispered, "Hold on Tommy, we're coming for you darling, just hold on."
Chakotay didn't realize that he had company and jumped when he heard Harry say, "Commander, knowing Tom, he'll pull through just like he always does. For some reason Tom always bounces back."
Chakotay nodded, "Hope you're right this time Harry." Entering the bridge together Kathryn heard the last statement, she replied, "He will I know he will."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tom was floating on a sea of pain. He knew he was in deep shit that he might never see his friends ever again. Whatever they gave him was wiping his memory, he knew that he was forgetting something important. He saw the locals coming over to him, he knew that the one in the front was mean to him for no reason, hitting him for the fun of it."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chakotay saw the planet on the screen. He prayed that Tom was still alive.
Tuvok scanned the planet and he said, "One human life form in the village near where we landed. Captain it is Tom, his life signs are very weak but he is still alive."
Chakotay let the breath that he was holding come out with a whoosh, "Thank god for that."
Kathryn nodded, "Okay, can we beam Tom up?"
Tuvok looked over at Harry, "Ensign Kim, can you confirm that there is a storm brewing near where Lt. Paris is?"
Harry looked down at his console, "Confirmed, there is a storm heading to the site that Tom is at."
Harry did a double check and then frowned looking at his reading again he said, "Captain my readings are telling me that Tom is no longer an adult, he is a child."
Chakotay ran over to Harry and read the readings himself muttering, "Damn."
Kathryn looked over at them looking quite shocked. She didn't have to look around the bridge to know that she wasn't the only one
Kathryn had to asked Harry what he meant by that statement, "Harry what do you mean that Tom is a child?"
Harry looked over at her looking her straight in the eye then replied, "Tom readings are saying that he is a child -two to three years of age- and we need to get him now, his signs are very weak, we can't use the transporters, we need to go down and get him."
Tuvok said, "I will go and get him with Chakotay, Captain."
Nodding Kathryn replied, "Good, go and get Tom. Bring him home."
Chakotay jumped out of his chair, "Aye Captain, we will."
Tuvok followed the Commander as they raced to the shuttle bay.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tom couldn't remember feeling this bad. His daddy had really done it this time but what did he do this time? Looking around he saw that he was in a cage in some village he didn't know; with people he didn't know. He couldn't see his father or mother around anywhere.
Tom started to cry, he knew he'd get it for crying if his father caught him, but he hurt and they weren't fixing him up like they always do.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chakotay and Tuvok hurried out of the shuttle once it landed.
Chakotay asked, "How long till night fall?"
Tuvok replied, "Two hours Chakotay."
Chakotay grimly smiled, "Well Tuvok, lets get the lay of the land. We'll get in as close as we can without getting caught ourselves. Then once they are all asleep we'll go and get Tom out of there and back home."
Tuvok nodded his agreement. Chakotay gathered up the packs handing one over to Tuvok who put it onto his back and followed Chakotay out of the shuttle.
"Computer, lock down Alpa tango 154." Tuvok nodded at the code that the Commander had used. Only Chakotay or himself could get into the Delta Flyer.
Pulling out his tricorder that had Tom's signal in it  Tuvok scanned the area for Tom's life signs. Tuvok pointed into the wooded area saying, "We need to head that way."
Looking over Chakotay saw that it looked like the forest back on Earth. He headed into the trees with Tuvok following him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tom still crying, he couldn't see his parents at all, he was scared and he was hungry, his mommy wouldn't let him go without food - his daddy might- but not mommy.
Tom started to wail but tried to stop when he saw that meanie that hit him the last time coming over to him.
The meanie said, "Gend fes edfg huef." then whacked Tom so hard that Tom was sent flying to the other side of the cage.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chakotay and Tuvok were not far when they heard a scream of a child.
Tuvok called out, "That is Tom."
Chakotay stopped walking and turned to look at him, "How the hell do you know that?"
Tuvok looked back at him and replied, "I knew Tom as a child. His father taught me when I went back to Starfleet. Just before his mother died I heard Tom scream when he fell down some stairs in the classroom. I found out later that when Owen got home he hit Tom for screaming and crying. The class was shocked that he didn't go over to Tom and check that he hadn't broken anything, we were told to leave him where he was that Tom needed to learn to handle it like a man."
Chakotay muttered, "If I ever see that man alive, I'll see if he can handle it like a man. How old was Tommy then?"
Tuvok frowned in thought, "About the age he is now between two and three. His mother tried to cuddle him but was told to leave Tom alone."
Chakotay just shook his head he could still hear the whimpering and the hip-cups coming from the village it was tearing his heart to pieces. Whispering he said, "Hang on baby, I'm coming hon." Chakotay resisted the urge to rush in and rescue Tom right then and there.
The village grew quite at the coming darkness. It seemed as though they feared the dark.
Tuvok was glad because it meant that their mission would work without hurting people  however if they did show their faces Tuvok would hurt them.
Chakotay tapped Tuvok on the arm and pointed to where Tom was. He whispered, "It's time to go and get Tom." Creeping forward, they inched their way closer to the cage and Tom.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tommy noticed the two men sneaking over to him. He saw the man with the drawing on his face hold a finger to his lips. Tom nodded that he understood.
Watching them come closer to him. Chakotay and Tuvok reached the cage that held Tom.
Tom watched as the Vulcan studied the lock on the cage. Tuvok pulled out his phaser changing the settings on it and whispered, "Tommy, back away and cover your face."
Tom backed away from the door and sat as far from the door as he could get. He raised his knees putting his face between his knees and wrapped his arms around his head. Tuvok waited for Tom to finish and then took aim at the lock and fired at it till it was hanging broken from the loop.
Chakotay sprung forward once the door was swinging open and raced in. He kneeled down beside the little boy who was still weeping and whispered, "Shh, it's all right Tommy, we're here to get you out."
Tommy lifted his head and asked, "Did daddy sent you for me?"
Chakotay looked over at Tuvok before replying, "Yes, he did. Come on let us take you to our ship." Tom held his arms out waiting for Chakotay to pick him up. Chakotay didn't think twice about it, he just picked Tom up and carried him out of the cage and waited for Tuvok, then followed Tuvok to the shuttle with a sleepily Tom in his arms.
Tom felt safe with this man. He laid his head down on his shoulder and ever so slowly his eyelids closed.
Ten minutes later they entered the Shuttle. Chakotay placed Tom into a seat and strapped him into it while Tuvok started the preflight. Chakotay sat next to him and said, "Take us out of here Tuvok."
Tuvok got the shuttle off the planet and headed to Voyager who was waiting for them by the planet's moon where they were hiding.
Chakotay heard a noise behind him, turning he saw Tom who was wide awake watching Tuvok with wide eyes, Chakotay smile got bigger as Tom slipped out of his seat and walked over to them watching what Tuvok was doing.
Tom stood next to Chakotay's legs looking up at him, Tom held out his little arms.
Chakotay looked down with a smile and asked, "You want a closer look Tommy?"
Looking up at him shyly he nodded, Chakotay bent down to pick him up, "Woah you a big boy? How old are you Tommy?"
Tom held up five fingers and said, "Thee." Tommy really liked this man, he was nothing like his daddy. Tom reached up and traced the tattoo on Chakotay forehead, saying, "Pretty." Tom quickly took his hand away and ducked his head so he wouldn't get yelled at.
Tuvok watched Tom and asked, "Tommy do you remember who I am?"
Tom looked over at him and frowned then nodded saying in a low voice, "You're Tuvok, you were there when daddy got mad at me for crying, you stopped him from hitting me." Tom shrugged his shoulders and said, "Thanks for that, but I sure got it when he got home."
Tuvok frowned at that bit of news and said, "Sorry Tom, I did not know."
Tommy smiled up at him and replied, "'s' okie Tuvok, you didn't `no' that daddy was great at keepin' that sort of thing a `ecet."
Chakotay frowned, wishing that the bastard was here with them so he could kill him.
Tuvok looked over at him and said, Commander, I feel the same as you do."
Chakotay looked over at him and nodded knowing what Tuvok was talking about.
Thinking, `How can someone hurt a sweet child like Tommy and not feel anything about what they were doing?'
Tommy looked out the front and pointed "Cha, big ship is mommy . . . . oh."
Tuvok looked over at Voyager and hailed them, "Delta Flyer to Voyager. Request permission to land?"
The Captain sighed, "Permission granted Tuvok. Have you got Tom?"
Tuvok nodded, "Yes Captain, we rescued little Tommy. He is safe but we need the doctor to look him over."
Kathryn looked over at Harry and B'Elanna who was on the bridge waiting for news about the mission and on Tom.
She smiled as she heard a little voice say, "I know you don't I?" Kathryn looked back at the screen and saw a little tow-head boy sitting on Chakotay's lap with his bright blue eyes looking at her.
Kathryn smiled at him and replied, "Yes you do know me, I use to work with your daddy."
Tommy grew scared and asked, "Is daddy wit' you?"
Kathryn frowned and said, "No sweetie, your father is not here." Janeway was fuming. `How could Owen hurt his own son this sweet child?'
She heard Harry mutter, "He is one dead man when we get back." Kathryn looked over at him and replied, "Get in line Harry I get him first."
"Aye Captain, I bet I'll be at the end of the line with being an Ensign."
B'Elanna nodded, "Yes Starfleet, you will be. We could go the other way so that we can get to him first - but we can't."
Tommy cuddled into Chakotay hiding his face in Chakotay's chest muttering, "Oh no what have I done? He gonna kill me Cha nobody was meant to know."
Chakotay looked down at the little boy in his lap. Chakotay said, "He will never hurt you again Tommy this I promise, I'll see to it that it never happens again Tommy." Rubbing Tom's back as Tom cried into his jacket that was soaking wet.
Tuvok landed the Delta Flyer in the shuttle bay. The door opened and they stood up. Chakotay stood with Tom in his arms.
Tuvok said, "Transporter room, three to beam to sickbay."
By time the Captain, Harry and B'Elanna entered sickbay they heard Tommy crying out, "No, it hurts, Cha, may him stop he's hurting me."
They heard the Doctor say, "Gee, he's just as bad as a child as when he was an adult."
Kathryn said, "That's enough Doctor, Tom is only a child and he has been through a lot in the last couple of days for a little boy."
Tommy stopped crying when he heard her and saw Harry and B'Elanna with her, he smiled and asked, "Hello, who are you? Do I know you?"
Harry smiled at him and said, "I'm Harry and this lady is B'Elanna, it's nice to meet you."
Tom looked at them with a smile and said, "I hurt and the Doc mean to me."
Harry tried not to laugh at the look on the doctor's face as he tried to work on a wriggling Tom.
Looking over at the Commander the doctor said, "Chakotay, hold him still so I can get some work done on him."
Chakotay nodded and said, "Tommy, come on. Come and sit by me, I'll hold your hand so it won't hurt so much."
Tommy smiled and whispered, "Cha, I like you." ducking his head down but Chakotay tilted his head up and whispered back to him, "I like you as well, Tommy."
The doctor went back to work muttering, "He is even worse as a child, hhhrrrrppppppp."
Tom started to chat away, "Cha, what is the name of this ship again?"
Chakotay replied, "USS Voyager."
Tom started to wriggle again looking all over the place asking, "Where is he? Where is my Pookie?" The Doctor and Chakotay exchanged looks as Tommy jumped from the bio-bed. Tom crawled all over the floor and he started to scream. Finding a corner Tom sat down drawing his knees up, starting to rock back and fro murmuring, "Pookie, Where Pookie?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 2                   
Everyone was shocked at the sudden change in Tom. They watched him as he tried to hide in the corner rocking and while he screamed for Pookie.
Chakotay walked over to where Tom was, bending down so he was so he was face to face with the child. Chakotay talked to Tom in a quiet voice that the others couldn't hear, "Tommy what's wrong?"
Tom looked up at him with tears flowing down his cheeks, quickly wiping them away he replied, "Pookie is my teddy he gone Cha." Tom threw himself at Chakotay so fast that he toppled them over.
Chakotay landed on his back with Tom lying on his chest. Tom wailed, "Pookie gone, daddy took him didn't he? Daddy always threaten to take Pookie away from me."
Harry gasped which made Tuvok look over at him.
Harry remembered seeing a teddy sitting on Tom's bed, he had always teased Tom about the bear that sat on the bed.
Harry left sickbay quickly and headed to Tom's quarters. He punched in Tom's code and once the doors slid open Harry went into Tom's bedroom and there it was, the teddy Tommy was crying about.
The bear was light blue with brown eyes and a black nose, by the look of it, it was quite old and well looked after.
Harry knew that the Teddy was well loved, Tom had always looked after his bear.
Harry picked Pookie up and gave it a hug. He felt silly and quickly looked around as if to check if anyone saw him hugging a teddy.
Harry spotted a bag lying on the floor, picking it up he placed Pookie in it so that if anybody was around he wouldn't get heaps for carrying a teddy with him.
Tuvok wondered where Harry had left for in a hurry.
Chakotay sat up with Tom wrapped in his arms. He had fallen asleep after crying his eyes out. Getting up slowly, so that he wouldn't wake Tom up, Chakotay walked over to the others and whispered, "Does anyone know what Pookie looked like we're going to have to replicate a teddy for him.
Just then Harry came in holding a bag, he looked around and said, "I found Pookie. I remembered that Tom always had a teddy sitting on his bed and I used to give him heaps about it. This must be Pookie." With that Harry pulled out the Teddy
Chakotay nodded, he remembered seeing it in Tom's quarters as well and Tom always placed it carefully on his night table when he went to bed. He knew that no matter what even when his quarters looked like a bomb went off in there the Teddy was always sitting on the night table or the bed never the floor and he always wondered about that. Now he knew why that was.
Kathryn remembered seeing Tommy at home clutching a teddy when she first met him and said, "I remember this Teddy, Tom got it when he was born. His mother gave it to him the day he was born and he treasured it more than life. The only time he was without it was in prison, they wouldn't let him have it in there, somehow he got it back when he joined Voyager but how I don't know."
Chakotay replied, "I know how he got it back, it was with him when he was with us and then when he got caught I found the bear and kept it with me. I gave it back to him about two weeks after we got stranded out here, Tom had come to me scared out of his wits and asked me what had happened to his stuff. For whatever reasons, I had brought them with me, along with my own stuff."
B'Elanna smiled as she looked at the bear. She remembered seeing it and she knew that Tom loved that bear more than life, looking over at them she said, "I asked him why it was special to him and he told me that if Pookie could talk he would tell all of his secrets. He told that bear everything and it helped him out. He was always there for him when everyone left him."
Tuvok nodded he knew of the bear as well. When he did the mind-meld with Tom the bear was in there as well. All of Tom's happy times was with the teddy.
Harry walked over to the sleeping boy and place the teddy under his arm and kissed his forehead.
Tommy woke up and saw Harry leaning over him, Tom froze for a minute before he managed to utter," Har, what are you doing?"
Harry smiled down at the little boy and replied, "We found Pookie for you."
Tom sat up with a huge smile on his face then looked down at the bear in his arms, his smiled faded, he tried not to cry but it didn't work, looking at Harry he yelled, "YOU LIED TO ME, THAT NOT POOKIE."
Harry frowned, he was so sure that it was Tom's beloved Pookie.
Chakotay rushed over with the others behind him. Tom looked at him still crying, "Cha, iiiittttttt'''sssss nnoott PPPPPPookie. Where is Pookie?"
Chakotay hugged Tom and replied, "I don't know sweetie, Harry was trying to help, he used my teddy to give to you so that you would be happy. Will my Teddy do till we find Pookie?"
Tom looked down at the teddy and replied, "okie he will do, But onl' till Pookie is found then you can have your teddy back. What is his name?"
Chakotay was stuck, he had no idea what to call the bear, without thinking he replied, "Bluey is his name." It was the first thing that came to his mind.
Tommy smiled and said, "It's suits him bluey, Thanks Cha for letting me have him till I find Pookie."
Chakotay smiled down at him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead, "You're welcome Sweet-one."
Tommy looked shyly over at Harry and said," I'm sorry for yelling at you Har."
Harry smiled over at him as he said, "That is okay I understand."
Tommy smiled with relief clutching Bluely to him he buried his face into the teddy.
The doctor said, "All that fuss just over a teddy bear god. Okay everyone lets clear sickbay, Tom needs to sleep now so clear out." Tom head shot up and made a grab for Chakotay and asked, "Cha, Please stay?" Chakotay looked over at the Doc to see what he would say.
"Okay, okay the Commander may stay as long as they both rest."
"'han' Doc. I promise to sleep." Tom said with a big smile on his little face.
Chakotay nodded as he sat down on the bio-bed next to Tommy still holding onto Tom's hand.
Harry smiled at the sight he knew that Chakotay would look after Tom.
Janeway said, "Well get some rest the both of you, if I hear of any partying I will be down here like a shot." Bending down she kissed Tom of the forehead as his eyes were drooping down, "Sweet dreams sweet one." Kathryn turned and headed towards the door to wait for the others to say their goodnight to the child.
B'Elanna smiled down at Tommy and kissed his forehead and whispered, "Goodnight Tommy, see you again in the morning Honey." Tommy stared up at her with sleepily eyes and smiled back at her, "Nigh, B'Ela." Tom's eyes closed and he fell asleep.
Tuvok looked down at the sleeping child then looking over at Chakotay, who was lying beside Tom, he said, "Maybe now we will know who hurt Tom. He might speak, then again he might not. Owen taught his child well." Tuvok turned and headed to the door and to Kathryn who was waiting for him to finish.
In the early hours of the morning Chakotay woke up to the horrible sound of Tom screaming. Jumping out of bed he rushed over to where Tom was thrashing and moaning, "Stop, it hurts. nnnnnnnnooooooooo Chakotay make them stop." Chakotay picked Tom up and held him while he whispered, "Shhh I'm here sweetie, shhh that it baby I'm here."
Tom eye's flew open and cried, "Cha?"
"I'm here baby, nothing can harm you sweetie." Chakotay replied.
Tom buried his face into Chakotay's chest. Breathing deeply he wondered where those dreams were coming from, for the life of him, he couldn't remember any of those things ever happening to him.
Chakotay asked, "Tom, do you want to talk about it?"
Lifting his head from Chakotay's chest he looked at Chakotay with his troubled bright blue eyes and said, "Cha, I `av' no idea where this is coming from. I don't `emembe' any of this." Burying his face back into Chakotay's chest.
Chakotay heard a muffled voice say, "That `ouldn't have happened."
Looking down at the boy in his lap he rubbed Tom's back and asked, "What couldn't have happened?"
Tom frowned, deep down he knew that if he told he would be hurt, how he knew that he had no idea of.
Wrapping his tiny arms around Chakotay, though he couldn't get his hands to met each other, Tom closed his eyes trying to forget the images that were floating in his mind.
Chakotay knew that Tom wouldn't tell him yet but he believed that Tom would tell him eventually because he was a child and that this child knew that he needed to tell.
Chakotay laid Tom back down on the bed and lay down beside his beloved, falling asleep, wrapped in each others arms.
Tom woke the next morning and slipped off the bed and went looking for the bathroom.
Chakotay woke with a start, he didn't know what woke him, He sat up and wondered why he was in sickbay. Then it hit him, where was Tom?
Jumping off the bed he called out, "Tommy?"
Tom heard some one calling him but didn't reply. Everything was wrong and all he wanted was his mommy. Tom curled up under the sink whimpering and trying hard not to cry.
Chakotay heard a noise coming from the bathroom called out softly, "Tommy, are you alright?"
Tommy wept quietly trying not to make a sound as the voice got closer, he knew that this man would tell his daddy that he had been crying.
Chakotay walked over to the door and asked, "Tommy, are you Ok?"
Hiccuping Tommy cried, "Where my mommy?"
Chakotay sighed and looked around to see if he could open the door from his side. He started pounding  the wall when he couldn't find anyway in.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Child of love 3
The Doctor came out of his office when he saw Chakotay get off the bio-bed and start looking around sickbay.
Chakotay, not noticing that he had company, sighed deeply and then he swore.
The Doctor asked, "Commander, is everything OK?"
Chakotay jumped at the sound of his voice, sighing he replied, "Tom locked himself in the bathroom and there is no other way in from this side."
The Doctor sighed, well as close to a sigh as a hologram could get, looking around sickbay he noticed that Tom's teddy bear was sitting on the bio-bed and walked over to the bed picking it up he looked the thing over wondering why humans attached themselves to these sort of things then asked, "Command do you think that this thing will help to get Tom out?"
Chakotay looked over at him and smiled at what the Doctor was holding up Pookie or should he say Bluey.
"Doc, you're a lifesaver." exclaimed Chakotay, "Why didn't I think of that?"
The Doctor replied, "I have no idea why."
Chakotay walked over to the Doctor as the Doc handed the teddy over to him, "You know, Tom loves Pookie so much, that I think if he didn't have Pookie, Tom might have ended his life along time ago."
Both of them looked at the Blue teddy in Chakotay's hands with newfound respect for the teddy.
The Doctor and Chakotay walked over to the bathroom door, they both could both hear Tom sobbing quietly.
Chakotay called out to Tom, "Tommy?" They heard no answer and Chakotay tried again "Tommy I have Bluey out here and he is lonely for his new friend. He wants to know why his new friend is crying."
They heard a small voice reply, "Bluey out 'her' wit' ya?"
Chakotay nodded then remembered that Tom couldn't see him and replied, "Yes sweetie, Bluely is out here with me and he needs a hug from his new friend."
Tommy uncurled himself from under the sink and slowly stood up and he and then said, "Computer unlock the door Alpha omega Tommy."
Chakotay stood back as the door slid open and saw Tommy standing in the doorway.
Tommy saw Bluely in Chakotay's hand. Running he threw himself at the
Commander wailing, "Cha, me scared, dreamin' bad things me don't like what they do."
Chakotay looked over Tom's head making eye contact with the Doc.
"Cha, they do mean things to me." Tom buried his head into Chakotay neck so all they heard was the muddled words, "Me did nuthing and they hurt me."
"Shh sweetie, everything OK, they won't hurt you again I promise."
Tommy moved his wet face off from Chakotay's neck looking at him and asked, "You kee' me safe from bad men?"
Chakotay looked down into the pool of blue and nodded, "I promise no one will hurt you as long as I'm around."
Tom smiled at him as he buried his face back into Chakotay's neck.
Chakotay tightened his grip on the child as Tom fell into a deep sleep. For some reason Tommy didn't know, he knew that Cha would keep him safe from the world  and his daddy.
Meanwhile the Doctor had watched the whole thing and was moved. If he could cry he would.
Shaking his head he said, "And I'll help, no one will hurt you ever again Tommy."
Chakotay looked over at him and replied, "Between us and Tuvok no one will ever hurt Tommy again."
"Ameh."
Both men looked over and saw Harry, B'Elanna and the Captain standing there.
Kathryn asked, "Does that include us as well?"
Chakotay smiled up at them and nodded, "Of course Captain, I wouldn't think of leaving you out of keeping Tom safe."
B'Elanna smiled at the sight of Chakotay on the floor with Tommy in his arms and the Bluey teddy buried between him and Tom.
Chakotay noticed that B'Elanna was looking down at him and Tom and said, "I think that Tommy has the memories of Tom's and he locked himself in the bathroom."
Kathryn frowned and asked, "Doctor, will having these memories hurt Tom any more than he is already?"
"He is a small child and these memories might scare him but no more damage will be done, the one good thing that will come out of it is that we may just catch the person or persons behind the beatings."
Signing Harry said, "Thank god for that because I want to KILL them."
B'Elanna smiled and looked over at him, "That's great, so you and I can spend the rest of the time here in the Delta Quadrant in the Brig for murder. Because that's what I mean to do." Baring her teeth she showed her Klingon side.
Everyone knew that she meant to come through with her threat.
Chakotay replied, "Well that means you two will be joining Tuvok and I in there as well."
Looking up at Kathryn, he said, "I think you will have to promote some people to replace us."
Kathryn smiled down at her first officer and replied, "What makes you think I won't be in there with you?"
Harry mouth dropped opened, B'Elanna smiled and said, "Yes Chakotay, what makes you think that Kathryn won't be in the brig with us and I know others who will join us in this as well."
Chakotay smiled. "I know there are others. Tom has made a lot of friends over the years. I just wish he could see that he is not as hated as he thinks he is."
Harry replied, "Well maybe this will show Tom that he is liked. Now if we can find the fuckers who are making life hell for Tom, everything will be sweet, of course finding a cure for this and getting our old Tom back will be perfect.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Child of Love 4
Chakotay handed Tommy to B'Elanna and took Harry's hand that was offered to help him up.
B'Elanna looked down at the sleeping child and whispered, "How can anyone hurt such a sweet child?"
Harry heard her and said, "Some bastards don't deserve to have children and that Fucker Owen Paris is one of them."
Kathryn not used to hearing her favorite young Ensign swearing like a sailor on shore leave from the old days.
Harry looked over at her when she gasped, "Sorry Captain."
Kathryn looked over at him and said, "Quite alright Harry, just keep that sort of language off the Bridge and when you're working shift. And Harry, I agree totally with what you said and more."
Everyone nodded with agreement.
Kathryn said, "Well, I better go and relieve Tuvok and anyone else who in this room, who are meant to be working, better leave with me now."
B'Elanna smiled and replied. "Aye, no rest for the wicked. Off to Engineering I go."
Laughing, they all headed to their workstations leaving Chakotay and the Doctor to look after Tommy.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Meanwhile in one of the crew quarters, three people were having a meeting, "What if he tells?  I heard that he might remember everything that happened to him even though he's a child."
They looked over at the person and asked, "Where did you find this out?"
"On my way here, I passed the Captain and that nerd Harry and they were talking about it."
"Fuck."
"Keep your ears open everyone, if you hear anything we will deal with it then, but for now listen and watch if the twit does remember we gonna be dead meat, because as a child he may tell them not like Tom, he knew to shut the fuck up but this little fucker may just be the downfall, we don't need.
Nodding, they all stood up making sure that no one was in the corridor doors as they left the quarters.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
On the Bridge Kathryn and Harry entered, Kathryn relieving Tuvok, telling him the update on Tom.
Tuvok nodded and knew that if Tommy remembered the things that happened to him as Tom, it just might be the break they needed to catch the culprits.
Chakotay looked over at the sleeping child that used to be his lover. He remembered the last time they made love, it was hot and heavy.
** Tom had come home from Sandrines. Tom had been playing pool with Harry, and he had been  sitting at his desk doing some last minute reports as Tom started to massage his shoulders. Sighing he leaned back into Tom enjoying the feeling of his talented fingers as they smoothed his aching muscles. Bend in half, Tom had kissed him within an inch of his life.
"Hey lover,"
"Poocuh, you can't stop there love." Chakotay had moaned.
Tom whispered, "Believe me Chief, I'm not I just wanted to get your attention, did it work?"
Reaching for Tom's hand he pulled it down to his groin letting Tom feel his hardened shaft, saying, "You got it Fly boy and now that you have what are you going to do with it?"
Chuckling Tom whispered, "I think I can find something to do with it." With that Tom undid Chakotay's pants and slid his hand into the band of Chakotay's underwear hitching it under Chakotay's balls.
 Tom began to run his fingers up and down his cock, teasing the slit with his thumb nail, smearing the pre-cum around the head of Chakotay's cock. Lifting his hand he raised it to his mouth and said, "MMM nice."
Moving the commander's chair so that he could stand in front of him, he sank to his knees and he kissed the tip of Chakotay's cock. He took Chakotay's cock into his mouth, relaxing his throat till his chin rested on Chakotay's balls, he began to suck bobbing his head.
Looking down at the blond hair, Chakotay ran his hand through Tom's hair, gripping Tom's head he began to move in and out of Tom's mouth, moaning, "Oh god so good mmmm I'm gotta come, Poocuh."
Tom raised his eyes so he could look into his lover's eyes and watch him come. Gently rolling Cha's balls he could feel them tightening and knew that he was going to shoot his load real soon.
Chakotay shouted as he shot his cum into Tom's mouth, "TOM"
Swallowing all of Chakotay's salty cum, he licked Chakotay clean.
Chakotay sighed in pleasured, "Come here you."
Raising, Tom sat in his lap. Chakotay kissed him tasting himself,  his hands roaming till they got to Tom's member. He broke of the kiss saying, "Want you inside me." Picking Tom up, he carried him to the bedroom. Placing Tom onto the bed, he undressed then joined Tom on the bed and he began to undress his lover.
Lying on his back he spread his legs. Reaching under the pillow finding the bottle hidden there and took it out and handed Tom the lubricant.
Opening the tube, Tom smeared a generous amount onto his finger, gently parting Chakotay's cheeks. Finding the small opening  he pushed his finger in till he had it all the way in and gently probed till he found the tiny gland that produced a whimper from his lover. Aiming for it every time he pushed in another finger till he had four inserted.
Looking down at his lover as he prepared him, nearly made him come on sight. Pushing back onto Tom's fingers he whispered, "Poocuh?" Tom looked up and Chakotay said, "Now Love, I want you inside me now."
Tom smiled pulling his fingers out, he lifted Chakotay's legs till they rested on his shoulders.
Lining his cock to the tight puckered opening he pushed in slowly, teasing Chakotay.
Chakotay, however, wasn't having any of that. He pushed back till he could feel the crisp hair against his ass, he said, "Move now baby."
Leaning down Tom gave Chakotay a kiss and replied, "All you had to do was ask."
Tom began to move faster aiming for Chakotay's prostate making it even more pleasurable for his beloved. Looking down he saw that Chakotay had his head thrown back while his hand stroking his own hard length,  Tom nearly came from that sight alone.
Tom quickened the pace and watched as Chakotay sped up his own pace.
Tom whispered, "Cha?" Tom waited for him to look at him and then said, "I love you"
With that Chakotay came hard and fast screaming, "TOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYYY."
Tom felt Chakotay's muscle pump his cock and he sped up and came with a shout, "CHHHAAA," and slumped onto the Chakotay.
Chakotay hugged Tom to him and said, "Poocuh, I love you too."
Sighing in pleasure they fell asleep in a tangle of arms and legs. **
Chakotay shook his head coming back to the present when he felt someone tugging onto his arm.
Looking down he saw the towhead of his lover.
Chakotay saw the worry in Tom's blue eyes as he clutched Bluey to his chest, his Tom's other hand clutching his hand.
Tom looked up at his Hero and asked, "Cha `ou in `ain?"
Chakotay frowned and replied, "No why?"
Tommy looked back at him and said, " `ou groaning `ou hurt?"
Chakotay was shocked and looked down and noticed the bugle in his pants then looked back at Tommy and said, "No love, I wasn't in pain."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Child of love 5
Later with the Doc's permission Chakotay left with Tommy in his arms, everyone agreed that it was best if Tommy stayed with Chakotay since they had a bond that no one could explain.
Tommy chatted all the way to Chakotay quarters waving to everyone they saw entering the tubolifts Chakotay called out, "Deck three."
Tom stood by Chakotay standing straight the lift stopped just before their stop, the door opened and Tom looked up and saw who came on.
Chakotay nodded and said, "Crewman Dalby."
Ken looked down at Tom before saying, "Commander, I see you drew the short stick and got the whipperschapper."
Chakotay frowned at Ken, he felt Tom move closer to him
Tom wrapped his arms around Chakotay legs he looked up at Ken, he then started to cry.
Chakotay bending down, he untangle Tom's hands from his legs picking Tom up he asked, "Honey what wrong?"
Tom wrapped his arms around Chakotay neck and buried his face into Chakotay's neck.
Ken looked on with a frown he was usually good with children he was hoping that he could get close to Tom to kept an eye him just as an extra caution.
The lift stopped on The Commander floor, when the doors slid open Chakotay walked off with Tom in his arms he didn't see the look on Dalby face as the doors slid shut.
Chakotay put Tom down once they stepped into the room.
Tommy stood by his side and looked around the room, Tommy took a step forward and fell onto his bottom laughing he look up to Chakotay and giggled.
Looking down at the child at his feet he had to smile at the trust and innocent flowing from Tom's eyes it was something that the grown Tom didn't show very often.
Tommy glanced up at Chakotay and giggled, "Again Cha that was funn'." Holding his arms up to him.
Chakotay leant down and picked him up throwing Tom into the air.
Letting out a yell of delight laughing as Chakotay caught him, " "gain, `gain Cha."
"You like that?" Chakotay asked.
"Yup `gain." Tom said smiling away.
Throwing Tom into the air when he caught Tom, he spun around till he toppled over himself with Tom in his arm laughing.
"Tha' was fun. Again?" Tom asked as he tried to stand up, but fell down again laughing.
"You dizzy Poocuh?" Chakotay asked.
"Me think so, but me liked that, Cha." Tom replied.
Chakotay pulled Tom over to him settling the child on to his chest giving Tom a cuddle he sighed closing his eyes.
Tom cuddled into Chakotay he felt at home he didn't trust men but with Chakotay he knew that he wouldn't hurt him. Closing his eyes he soon fell asleep pinning Chakotay to the floor.
Smiling Chakotay rubbed Tom's back as he settled into sleep Chakotay felt his eye's droop and he soon joined Tom into dreamland.
An hour later he heard a voice calling him signing he rolled over saying, "Give me another five minutes."
Tommy woke and looked up into the female with the bumps on her head smiling he said, "Hello."
B'Elanna smiled and reached down to rescue Tom before Chakotay rolled on top of him, "Hey there, Tommy and how are you?"
"Me good Cha and I played had fun." Tom explained
"That great. I guess that explains why you fell asleep on the floor." Looking down at her friend as he settled back into sleep smiling she looked over at Harry and said, "He is going to complain when he wakes up."
Laughing, Harry nodded walking over to her and Tom who was leaning his head on B'Elanna should watching him sleepy.
Running his hand through Tom's hair he asked, "You still tired buddy?"
Tom nodded fighting to keep his eyes open he was losing the battle he soon dropped off.
B'Elanna walked over to Chakotay bed, while Harry shook his commanding officer awake.
"Whaatt?"
"Come on Chakotay time to move to the bed and sleep."
"Uhh Ok."
Struggling to stand up Harry tried not to laugh but it slipped out as for the second time Chakotay fell over.
Hearing laugher from the bedroom door Harry turned and saw that B'Elanna was laughing as well.
B'Elanna shook her head and tried to calm down she walked over still giggling she said, "OK lets help him or he going to have us cleaning the bathrooms with our toothbrushes."
Offering her hand to Chakotay she listened as he mutter, "Yes B'El you have that right."
Harry threw one of Chakotay arms around his shoulder if anyone walked in they would think that Chakotay was bombed.
Moving slowly they finally managed to get Chakotay to the bed sitting him down they swung his head towards the pillows.
Harry tried to pull Chakotay boots off, tugging he felt it slip and gave it another big pull, he knew that he was going to regret that last pull.
As the boot came loose, Harry who was still pulling on the boot went down hard on his rump, "Ouch."
Hearing laugher looking up at the bed he saw B'Elanna and Chakotay laughing  hard holding their middles.
Tom who woke with the noise leant over to see what was funny resting his arms on Chakotay's leg he saw Harry on the floor, "Har what ya doing down there?"
Smiling Harry got up messing up Tom's hair he replied, "Trying to pull of Chakotay boots."
Looking over at the boot lying on the floor and then over at Chakotay feet he said, "Not Fini' yet still got one to go."
Looking up at Harry he smiled as Harry nodded saying, "I think I'll leave that to Chakotay what do you think?"
Raising a finger to his chin he thought and said, "Me daddy told me you have to finish what you started."
Everyone laughed B'Elanna patted Harry on the back saying, "You heard him you have to finish what you started."
Chakotay pulled Tom over to him kissing his forehead he said, "That right Harry."
Sighing Harry thought it was wiser if he sat on the floor this time grabbing the boot yanking it hard jerking the boot off in one pull he held it up and said, "If you ever need them pulled off again don't ask me."
Standing up, he threw the boot over to it's partner he walked over to B'Elanna saying, "Bye Tom, Chakotay." Harry left with the sound of laughing echoing off the walls.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Child of love 6
Chakotay was jerked awake to a sound, they hadn't heard in a while Red Alert. Jumping out of bed he rush about to get dress, calling over the Comm, “Chakotay to Neelix?”
“Neelix here”
“Can you come to my quarters and keep an eye on Tom?”
“On my way, Neelix out”
Tom watched wide eye as Chakotay rushed about, till he heard the door swish open letting Neelix in, Tommy listened as Chakotay told him, “Neelix will stay with you till I get back.” Then he was gone in a flash of light.
Tom looked at Neelix who was tapping his chest, “Neelix to Captain Janeway?”
“Neelix I’m busy here.”
“Captain, I think Commander Chakotay has just disappeared.”
“What?”
Neelix wandered into the sitting room, so Tom couldn’t hear what was being said, “I arrived at his quarter to take care of Tom, while he was on the bridge and he left in a flash of light.”
Neelix heard her say, “Tuvok, did you get a reading at all?”
‘Checking affirmative at 0300 there was an energy surge in the Commanders quarters.’
“Neelix, I’m sending Seven down to check for more readings.”
“I’ll look out for her, Neelix out.”
Kathryn looked over at Harry with a slight frown on her face, “Harry see if you can get a reading from those ships out there.”
“Aye Captain.” Harry let his fingers fly over his console trying to get a reading.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Meanwhile Chakotay found himself on the floor with an alien staying in front of him aiming a wicked looking weapon at him.
“Stand up.”
Chakotay slowly stood to his feet.
Look the alien over who stood around 7 feet tall with scales, green hair and what looked like a loin cloth wrapped around it’s waist.
T’ki looked down it’s nose at his captured alien he screwed it’s nose up hissing, “Get moving.”
Walking ahead of alien Chakotay tried to take in the view but the poke in the ribs made him think twice about trying, so keeping his eyes focus in front of him he noticed a green door looming up in front of him.
Entering through the door, he saw a room with a great big throne sitting in the center with an overweight alien with bright blue hair.
T’ki bowed before it, then straighten up, kicking Chakotay behind knees making him fall, Chakotay threw out his hands to stop himself from falling face first before the overlord.
T’ki laughed and said, “My lord, I give this to you he is a weak unsub who takes orders from a Riss.”
F’ki looked at Chakotay with a smirk saying, “Get J’up prepared for tonight.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tommy sat on the bed watching wide eye at the people coming in and out of Cha’s quarters trying to be brave but tears slid down his cheeks.
Leaning towards the door Tommy listened as a tall lady who he hadn't met before scanned the room.
Seven felt eyes on her and knew that it was Tom her friend, who was now a child not knowing how to handle the little boy she stayed away from him.
Tom got off the bed and wandered into the other room to see what was going on.
Neelix was talking to Tuvok so he didn’t notice Tom entering the room and heading to the door.
Slipping pass Tuvok and Neelix, Tom walked out of the room not sure where he was heading but he knew that he needed to find Chakotay.
Calling out, “Computer, where is Cha?”
“Unable to complied, There is no one aboard Voyager with that name.”
Screwing up his face trying to remember what the others had called Cha.
Without giving it a thought Tom walked down towards the tubo lift at the end of the corridor door, reaching up to tap the pad beside the door with a swish they opened, stepping in Tommy called out, "Bridge."
Once the doors open to reveal the Bridge Tommy stepped out looking around the room looking for Cha spotting The Captain Tommy raced over to her throwing himself into her lap sobbing, "Cha gone..." Wincing when Tom started screaming, "I CAN'T FIND HIM."
Pulling him closer to her, she told him, "We'll find him Tommy."
"Wher' is he?" Tommy asked her.
Before she could answer him Harry called out, "Captain one of the ships are hailing us."
Lifting Tom up with her as she stood up turning and placing him in her chair, "Open a channel."
"Channel opened."
Before she could say a word an overweight alien with bright blue hair sitting in a throne stated, "I'm F’ki of the T'pad you have entered our space Riss."
Tommy slid off the Captain's chair creeping over to Kathryn wrapping his tiny arms around her legs with a whimper.
Looking down at Tom, she missed seeing her second in command being lead away.
"Cha!!!" Tommy raced over to the screen calling out, "Cha . . . ."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chakotay stopped in disbelieved when he heard Tommy calling out to him before he could say anything T’ki poked him in the ribs with the weapon hissing, "Move it unsub."
F'ki roared, "T'KI TELL ME WHY WE HAVE A JI'KI AMONG US?"
T'ki turned slowly facing the wrath of F'ki, "My lord he's not a Ji'ki he takes orders from the Riss he is a unsub."
Janeway hoping that this whatever this was worked into their favor asked, "T'ki what is a Ji'ki?"
F'ki turned back towards her saying, "Answer this Riss is this unsub a Ji'Ki to the Ki'ti?"
Janeway was hoping that Ki'ti meant child saying, "Yes he is."
Tommy called out, "Please let Cha go, I need him."
F'ki looked at Tom listening to his words asking, "Riss this Ki'ti is a Ka'tel is he not?"
Frowning Kathryn wished that the translator picked words that they could understand, "F'ki what is a Ka'tel?"
Looking at Tom again as he told her, "You went the planet H'Ped, the last planet over the Lo'fis." At her nod he carried on, "Does he need to find himself?"
At her look, he smiled saying, "This is a rare thing to happen to outsiders they saw that he was special and in need of their help, Guard him with your life, Ki'ti will be returned to you in a short while, T'ki has something to say to him first." With that he ended the hail.
Stepping off from his throne F'ki walked over to Chakotay saying, "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding my honored Ki'ti keep the Ka'tel safe. Only the honored get chosen to be a Ka'tel." With that he turned and saying, "T'ki you have done the Ti'pad a great dishonor with taking him, your family will be sadden with this."
With a nod, T'ki turned walking out of the room saying, "Ki'ti sorry this dishonor befell you, follow me and I'll return you to your Ka'tel."
Chakotay stunned at the turn of events breathed a sign of relief nodded and followed T'ki out of the room.
Entering a room which looked a bit like their transporter room T'ki motioned for him to stand on a pad saying, "Ki'ti it was an honor to met you, pity it wasn't under better times."
With that he bowed to him saying, "Time to go home to him, cherish him as he goes through the sorrow, help him and guide him through this time of finding who he is."
"I will." Chakotay said.
With a push of a button T'ki disappeared from his sight to end up in his room in front of Neelix and Tuvok.
With a with a jump Neelix yelped, "Commander."
With a smile Chakotay strolled out of his quarters saying, "Sorry can't stay need to get to the bridge."
Moving quickly towards the lift he heard Neelix and Tuvok moving to follow him, tapping the pad the doors open to reveal Kathryn and Tommy.
With a squeal of delight Tommy threw himself at Chakotay saying, "You're home."
Bending down to lift him up with a grin, "Yes Ka'tel I'm home."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Meanwhile in another part of the ship two crew members were having a hushed conversation, "We have a major problem."
"Take it out by any means possible."
"But. . . " Glaring at him while saying, "I don't care! Nothing can go wrong now, there is to much is riding on this."
Child of Love

Walking back to his quarters with the Captain and Tuvok, Chakotay slowed his pace so that Tommy little frame could keep up.
Tommy gripped Cha's big finger in his little hand, fearing that if he let go of him, Cha would disappeared from his sight again, tugging on his hero's hand waiting for Cha to look at him.
Feeling a tug, Chakotay looked down at Tom, "Tommy?"
Craning his neck to look up at him saying, "I called for you and ship told me it wasn't 'abl' to 'ompl' what did 'hat mean Cha?"
Crouching down so that he was at Tom's level, Chakotay asked, "Tommy did you use Cha?" At Tom's nod he carried on, "Tommy the ship doesn't know me as Cha."
Confused Tommy asked, "Why not?"
Grinning Chakotay explained, "Cha not my name, It's Chakotay."
"'Kotay?"
Chakotay smiled saying, "I think Cha will do love don't you?"
Throwing his little arms around his neck Tommy nodded saying, "You're Cha."
Kathryn smiled at the exchange of her Commander and Pilot, Placing a hand on Chakotay shoulder saying, "Computer acknowledge Tommy voice command." Looking over at him she explained to him, "Tommy say something now and the computer will know it's you and then we can get the computer to acknowledge Chakotay's shortened name for you."
Looking over at her, Tommy asked, "What shall' I say?"
Janeway smiled at him saying, "That was enough for the Computer to know it's you, Now say Chakotay name."
Looking over at Chakotay, Tommy said, "Cha."
"Computer confirm Commander Chakotay name as spoken by Tommy and save it."
"Confirmed and saved."
Kathryn straighten up saying, "It's all done Tommy, when you call for Chakotay again the computer will tell you where he is."
Not use to grownups paying attention to his needs before he shyly smiled up at her whispering, "Than' you Capt'"
"You're most welcome Tommy, Now let take this show to Chakotay quarters shall we?"
With a nod Tommy waited for Chakotay to stand up, holding his hand out for Chakotay to hold.
Standing up with the help of Tuvok, Chakotay noticed that Tommy was holding his little hand out to be held reaching over he grabbed Tommy with a smile, swinging him up and sitting him on his shoulders.
With a squeal of delight, Tommy clutched Cha's hair in his hands as they set off to their quarters.
Setting off at a jog Chakotay called out over his shoulder, "Race you to our quarters Captain. Hold on Tommy here we go."
"Wee Giddy up." Tommy giggled as they trotted off.
Kathryn called out after them, "You cheated Chakotay." All she got was a laugh. "Mister you're in for it now." With that she took off after them, glad that there was none of the crew to see her acting like a kid.
Tuvok watch them as his Captain and friend let her hair down having Tommy around seem to be a good thing, if it got her and the Commander acting like they don't have a care in the world.
Tommy glance over his shoulder when he heard the Captain moving closer gripping Chakotay's hair tighter, Tommy called out, "Faster Cha, Kat catchin' up to us."
"Hold on Tommy we're nearly there." Chakotay told him as he picked up his pace.
Gripping Cha's hair a little tighter giggling in glee as they made their way towards their quarters.
Kathryn called out, "Tommy here I come."
With a grin Chakotay spun around catching her off guard as she tried to pass him, "Oh no you don't." Lifting Tommy off his shoulders saying, "Go on Tommy, I'll hold her till you get to the doors."
Kathryn wriggling about trying to break Chakotay hold on her, "You don't play fair Chakotay."
Without the others noticing him, Tuvok walked pasted without a glance or stopping he carried on till Tommy called out, "Cha! Tuvok."
Without another word Tommy took off after him just as he caught up to Tuvok one of his arms shot out and swept him up, "Oh no you don't Tommy."
Giggling and wriggling trying to break free Tommy tried to call out, "Cha . . . . . hel'. . . . caugh'. . . . Hic . . . . hic. . . . . ."
Chakotay released the Captain with a smile saying, "Mister Tom seems to have a case of the hic ups."
"What gave that way?" Kathryn asked as she smooth her uniform down, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as they joined Tuvok and Tommy.
Wide eye Tommy reached out his arms for Chakotay to carry him, "Cha Hic what hic is hic 'his hic?"
Smoothing Tommy's hair as he said, "Just a case of the hic up Tommy. It will go away."
Snuggling into Chakotay Tommy rested his head on his shoulders saying, "No hic Doc?"
With a smile Kathryn said, "No Tommy."
Fighting the urge to close his eyes, Tommy nodded his head as his eye lids drooped shut.
Janeway whispered, "He's asleep."
Heading to his quarters at a calmer pace Chakotay entered and walked to his room placing Tommy on the bed, he pulled down the covers picking Tom up again he place him in the middle of the bed, where he was sure that he wouldn't fall off the bed, slipping Tommy's shoes off his tiny feet, Chakotay covered him placing a kiss on his forehead he whispered, "Sweet dreams little one."
Tiptoeing out of the room Chakotay placed a statue in the doorway so the door wouldn't close all the way and that he can hear Tommy if he called out.
Walking over to the replicator asking, "Would you like anything?"
Kathryn said, "Coffee please."
"Tea Vulcan blend thank you Commander."
"Coffee Janeway blend, Vulcan tea, Hot Chocolate Chakotay special."
When his order appeared Chakotay placed them on a tray that he kept beside the replicator.
Walking over to the couch placing the tray on the low table sitting in front of the couch, placing the right beverage in front of Janeway and Tuvok before sitting down in his favorite chair, he knew that Kathryn and Tuvok were waiting for an explanation for what happened, blowing at his drink to cool it before taking a sip giving himself some time to figure it out in his head.
What happen had left him dazed and confused, staring into his drink lost in thought jumping when he felt someone touch his arm spilling his drink down the front of his uniform jumping up trying to pull the fabric from his skin.
Jumping up from her seat, Kathryn spotting a sponge sitting on the table walking over to the table picking up the cloth stunned that a touch on the arm would make her friend jump like that handing the slightly damp cloth to her First Officer, "Sorry about that Chakotay."
Grabbing the cloth from her hand with a thin smile saying, "That Ok, It give me an excuse to have a shower this week."
At her shocked looked his grin grew bigger, "Got ya." Wiping off the front of his uniform, "If you'll excuse me I'll go and get out of these clothes." Walking over to his room tapping the statue with his foot so he could get the door open entering his room he checked on Tommy who was still asleep curled up in a ball with Bluey firmly tucked in his little arms, smoothing Tommy's hair back off his forehead stilling when Tommy stirred moaning then settling back into sleep, removing his hand not wanting to wake him Chakotay headed for his dresser opening one of the drawers pulling out a pair of black pants and white shirt walking into the bathroom.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tuvok while waiting for the return Chakotay asked, "Captain what happened?"
Turning so that she faced her friend replied, "I'm not sure Tuvok I hope that Chakotay can clear up the rest of it, somehow I'm not sure that he can."
"You are correct Captain, Chakotay seem confused about all of this." Tuvok looked at her saying, "What happened on the bridge to bring Commander Chakotay home?"
Looking thoughtfully at her long time friend before saying, "You know that the weird thing?" With a frown she thought back to what happen, "Once F’ki of the T'pad that what they were called, saw Tom he changed, it seem he knew just what happened to Tom, He called Tommy a Ka'tel and told us to guard Tom with our life's and what happened to him was a rare and special thing to happen to outsiders, that all I can sort out of this jumble of mess, I'm hoping that Chakotay can finish explaining what he knows."
From the doorway, Chakotay spoke up, "No much more than what you do Captain, it's all surreal to me, one minute I was getting ready to go to the bridge and the next I was on their ship." Striding over to his chair sitting down, he carried on with his tale, "I didn't have time to get my bearing before T'ki, I think that was his name, herded me to F'ki who then ordered me to be taken to J'up whoever or whatever that is, That all I know, it confused the hell out of me it seem that when F'ki saw Tommy that when it all confused me even more so, his attitude changed even my name was changed, I was unsub then I'm Ji'ki which in their language means guardian to Ka'tel and an honor to be blessed as one." Chakotay went quite as he thought of his close brush with whatever they had planned for him with a shudder, he was sure that whatever it was he wouldn't have liked it one bit, looking over at the others he said, "It seems that Tom had saved my life once again."
Tuvok nodded his agreement saying, "Yes it would seem that he has, speaking of Tom, I have found two officers willing to help us in our other problem."
Kathryn looked at him asking, "Who?"
"Crewman Jeanette Kofoed and Ensign Samantha Wildman it seems these young ladies have been helping Tom out on other times. Tom is close to both woman and Crewman Kofoed is dating one of the suspects involved."
Chakotay sat in thought then asked, "Isn't she a Maquis?"
"Yes Commander she was one of your crew members, she works at Con and put aside her anger at him right at the beginning and has been his friend ever since. Tom tries to keep her at arm lengths but like Harry Kim she wouldn't let him, between her and Ensign Wildman they have patched Tom up when he refuses to go to the doctor."
Janeway nodded saying, "Crewman Kofoed works Gamma shift doesn't she?"
"Yes she does."
Chakotay asked, "Is she still dating Tem?"
"Not that I know of she never dated Tem, Tem is with Greg Ayala, she covered alot for Tem and Ayala at the beginning of their relationship, she is with Karl Jackson he is a minor player in what is happening, he's a Star fleet and hates Tom because of Caldik Prime, it seem that his best friend was one of the officers who died there."
Stunned Kathryn pounded her fist into her leg saying, "What will it take to get them to understand that Caldik Prime was not Tom's fault that Tom was not the pilot of that shuttle that he was framed for it and to damn hurt to log the reports?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Early on Tuvok and she had studied all the report surrounding Caldik Prime and discovered a cover up within Starfleet concerning Caldik Prime, they didn't have all the facts but what they did have confirmed that Tom didn't have anything to do with it, it seem he was unconscious and fighting for his life when his report was handed in and the finger pointed right at Owen Paris.
If the upper fleet looked into it, like they were meant to they would have came to the same conclusion they did, Tom was innocence of any wrong doing, they would have found that Tom wasn't the pilot that day he was piloting the flight home from Caldik Prime it was a Cadet Ju'lk who was the pilot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Child of love 8
Tuvok placed a hand over hers saying, "Captain it's not worth beating yourself up over this, they know and it's up to them to sort out their problems they may have, it's just a handful who are still blaming him for it, just like there are some of the Commanders crew who still think that Tom is a traitor and they all know that he let himself get taken to save the crew of the Crazy Horse from being arrested."
*Beebop*
Chakotay called out, "Come."
The door slid open to reveal Samantha Wildman loaded down with packages, behind her was a blond who was just as loaded down, Chakotay jumped up from his chair walked over to them grabbing some of the packages asking, "Sam what is all this?"
With a small the small blond woman replied, "This Commander is clothes, you have a toddler living with you and I bet you haven't given it a thought as to where he will sleep and what he will wear have you?"
Hiding his grin, he replied, "I actually haven't had the time to give that a thought Ensign."
With a smirk that could have only been learnt from Paris, Sam said, "I thought so, so I did it for you, Jeanette and I sorted through Naomi gear what she had grown out of most of her clothes are unisex sex clothes so have no worries about putting Tommy into girl clothes." Taking a breath Sam nodded at Jeanette.
With a nod she tapped her com badge, "Jeanette to Kim."
"Kim here."
"You can transport it over now Harry."
"Ok Harry out."
In a whirl of noise a bed transported into the middle of the lounge.
Tapping her com badge again Jeanette said, "Harry we told you the Commander bedroom not the lounge."
"What do you expect Jean I have no idea where his room is, I've never been in there." Came the reply.
Smothering his laugher Chakotay called out, "That all right Harry nether has Jeanette." Throwing a look at the her, he noticed that she was blushing. "Tuvok and I will carry it into the room once Tommy awake."
Tuvok raised an eyebrow asking, "If you say so Commander."
Kathryn asked, "Sam where did all this come from? I know Naomi didn't have all this."
Jeanette with a smile told her, "It's from the lower deck crew Captain. We did a whip around, we knew that the commander and the bridge crew were handling the care of Tommy and we wanted to do something as well since Tom is our friend as well and this was all we could think of to help out."
Waving her hand about the room saying, "This is more than enough, half of what here we didn't even think of, who would think that a three year old still worn diapers? I didn't."
Sam nodded saying, "He would only wear them at night during the day he wouldn't. Mmm that brings up a question." Facing Chakotay she asked, "Do you know how to change a child?"
With a hint of mirth shining in his eyes, he told her, "Yes Sam I know how to change a child, I come from a rather large family even though I'm the baby of it, I still learn the art of changing a diaper."
"I'm sorry Commander."
"No need to be it's a fair question after all I'm an unmarried man with no children."
Chakotay squatted down beside the parcels sorting through them saying, "Thanks for thinking of this for us Jeanette and Sam half of this stuff I wouldn't have thought of."
Hearing a noise he looked up to see Tommy standing at the door wiping his face with one hand and gripping Bluey with the other.
Tommy had woken to the talking slipping out of bed he swiped at his eyes removing the sandman sleep that remained at his eyes, blinking wearily around the room, eyes widen at the sight that greeted him piled high was clothes, toys and a bed, spotting Chakotay among the present he toddled over to him.
With a smile Chakotay sat on the floor, once he was Tommy crawled into his lap.
Once settled in Cha's lap, Tommy rested his head against his chest shyly looking at the two ladies watching him.
Smoothing Tommy mussed up hair Chakotay asked, "Still tired?"
With a tired nod Tom didn't take his gaze off Sam and Jeanette.
Hugging him closer to him, he said, "You should be still asleep young man."
Breaking his gaze he looked up at him and in a whisper, "Cha who is them?"
Looking up as Sam squatted down so she was at his level said, "Hello Tommy, I'm Sam Wildman and this is Jeanette Kofoed."
Looking over at her with a hint of a smile, "Nice to met you." Snuggling into Chakotay chest as he spotted Tuvok and Kathryn his smile widen jumping out of Chakotay's arm he raced over to Tuvok throwing himself into Tuvok arms calling out, "Tuvok, Kat I was 'oping you would still be 'here."
Preparing him self to catch the toddler who was flying at him at warp 10, Tuvok grunted at the impact tightening his hold on Tommy as they tumbled off the couch making sure that he landed first.
Hearing giggling he looked into Tommy blue eyes that shone with happiness loosening his hold on Tom once he started to wriggle free.
Standing up he crawled into Kathryn lap wrapping his tiny arms around her neck as she asked, "What no tumble to the floor for me?"
Looking up at her saying, "No."
"Why?" she asked him.
With a serious look he told her, "You're the Captain and I should treat you as one. Paris rule 10."
Frowning she asked, "Rule 10?"
Burying his face into her shoulder saying, "Sorry, I 'houldn' had said that."
Holding him tighter to her Kathryn told him, "Honey it's alright no one is going to hurt you here, not even your father. This I promise you."
With a slight nod, Tommy climbed off her lap and slowly walked back to Chakotay standing in face of him not sure whether he was mad at him or not.
Looking up at Tom, Chakotay smiled at him saying, "Come here you." Pulling him into his lap and blew raspberries on his neck till he started to giggle again, "That better isn't it?"
"Yup." Snuggling deeper into Chakotay arms he whispered, "Chakotay?"
Looking down at him, "Yes Tom?"
"I'm hungry."
With a laugh Chakotay placed Tom onto his feet using the table to help him up, he stood looking at the room full of people he asked, "Anyone else hungry? If so follow us to the mess hall, I don't have enough credits to feed you all."
Swinging Tom up into his arms he lead the way out of his quarters.
Tommy chatting a mile a minute mess hall asking questions about things he spotted. Once they entered the mess hall. Chakotay placed him on the floor, looking around the room spying crew members sitting at tables eating, he spied a young girl sitting with the lady from before, he saw a bunch of people crowded around a table something about them scared him, stepping closer to Chakotay when one of them came towards them.
"Commander, Nice to see you again Tommy." Couching down to look at him, Tommy moved behind Chakotay wrapping his arms around one of Chakotay legs, "Ah a shy one I see."
"Dalby may I help you?"
Looking up at his commanding officer saying, "No sir I just thought I'd say hello to little Tommy here."
As Ken reached to pat Tom on the shoulder, Tommy jumped back with a yelp crashing into Janeway's legs.
Reaching down to Tommy, Kathryn picking up Tommy distress, picked him up saying, "Crewman you may go."
"Yes Captain." Standing up Ken rejoined his friends at their table once sitting he looked back at them saying, "He remembers, he did that before in the tubo lift someone else has to get closer to the Commander and them for this to work."
"How bout a female Sue could get close or Tem."
"No not Tem, he with Ayala and he likes Tom and if you don't what Starfleet or Maquis on your back keep him out of this." Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "Sue might work but she friends with the Delaney sisters we need someone who is friendly with both sides and hates Tom enough to pull this off."
"That would be Vorick."
Looking over at the lone figure sitting by himself, he was different from Tuvok well liked on both sides and had a dislike for Paris that he kept hidden from the senior crew members.
"Send him a message after shift on the agreed channel. Now lets end this till tonight."
Disbanding and heading out in different groups and ways they were unaware of piercing eyes following them once they were out of view it tapped it's com badge, "Bait taken."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Child of love 9
"Acknowledge."
Walking into the mess hall after his shift, Harry spotted Chakotay in line prodding the food items, checking to see if it had any meat in it before dishing it up on his plate, hearing a giggle coming from one of the tables he looked over to see his Captain and partner bounce their former Helmsman and his best friend on her knees and making faces at him was weird to say the less, but Harry remember when he came from the other Voyager * Being a Star Fleet Officer, weird was part of the job. * he had seem many weird things since being in the Delta Quadrant but seeing his best friend as a child topped the cake.
Their normal controlled Captain, nothing seem to faze her unless something happened to Tom Paris then the Big guns came out, not to say that she wouldn't do the same for all of the crew was never in question, she has pulled out them out, but when it came to Tom that was a different barrel of apples, Janeway had a soft spot for him.
With Tom and him, her mothering instincts came out in full force not so much with him but with Tom it amazed him how she would change when Tom entered the room if he didn't know better he'd say that she was in love with him.
Joining Chakotay in the line he asked, "What looks good Commander?"
"Not sure Harry, Neelix over with the Captain, I'm trying to figure out what half of this is." Chakotay carried on poking the food calling out, "Neelix where is the vegetarian food?"
Jumping up from the chair he was sitting in rushed over gushing "Sorry Commander it's out the back I didn't bring it forth." Rushing around the counter Neelix carried on saying, "He sure is a little charmer Commander."
Looking over at Harry with confusion written over his face, "Who a charmer Neelix?"
"Why Tommy is who did you think I meant?"
"Ugh sorry Neelix, yes he sure is isn't he?"
Placing a tray of food in front of him, Neelix said, "I can't believe how his father could treat a sweet child like Tom like he did. Between you and me, some people aren't cut out for being parents."
"Yes Neelix you're right some people don't deserve to be parents now if you will excuse me I better go and fed Tommy before I become one of them."
Walking away with a tray full of food, he knew that he's have a fight on his hands with Tommy over some of the food but he needed to eat.
Placing the tray on the table while saying, "Ok Tommy time for some food. I know that a lot of this you won't know but you have to eat it all."
Looking at the food Tommy screwed up his face wisely not saying a word looking over at Harry who had joined them to see what he ate and what he didn't.
Picking up his fork, he got a small amount of food onto the tines, taking a nibble off the fork once the his taste buds kicked in, his bites were bigger, "This is yummy Cha!"
Shocked at Tommy telling him that leola root strew was yummy, Tom Paris hated Leola root strew along with every other crew member on Voyager, watching in stunned silence as Tommy shoveled fork full into his mouth.
Once his plate was clean Tommy wiped his chin with the napkin sitting on the table in front of him not aware that he had a whole table watching him till Naomi spoke up, "Tommy did you really like that?"
Surprised at the question Tommy frown at her asking, "Yea why?"
"No reason."
Climbing off his seat, Tommy climbed up onto Harry's lap picking food off his plate as he chatted about his day, "You beam the bed in the wrong roo' Har. You think I'm gonna sleep in the sitting room?"
With a grin Harry explained to him, "Sorry bout that Tommy, you see I've never step foot in Chakotay quarters to know where to place the bed."
"It's alrigh' Tuvok and Cha are gonna move it later."
Looking over at Chakotay Harry asked, "Would you like some help moving it?"
Before he could answer Tuvok cut in saying, "Yes we would Ensign. Would after dinner suit you?"
"That would be fine."
Warily watching Seven as he was told her name was from the corner of his eye he wasn't quite sure how to handle her, like the Doc she was serious, so he did the thing he did when he wasn't sure of, he ignored it till he could work a way around it, even at three he learnt that was the easiest way to handle things.
Stilling picking food of Harry's plate Tommy decided to explore this new home of his slipping off Harry lap, Tommy looked up at Chakotay asking, "May I be excused?"
Looking down at him with a grin, "Tommy where do you think you going to go?"
"I'm gonna go 'ploring Cha." Tommy told him with his hands on his hips.
"Exploring huh?"
"Yup."
"With who Doodle bug?" Chakotay asked him.
"Me big boy, I 'plore all the time at 'ome."
"I hate to burst your bubble Doodle bug but this isn't earth."
Stamping his foot in frustration, "Me know that Cha, that's why I wanna 'plore Voyage' to know my new home so I don't get lost."
Trying to sound stern Chakotay told him, "Tomorrow we'll explore the ship together, You're to young to go about by your self, you understand that Mister?"
Tom stared at Chakotay the words dislodging a memory, an older him standing in front of an older version of his father. Shaking his head to clear it of the memory he was sure wasn't his since he was only three and the other him was about ten.
Mournfully Tommy nodded, "Yes Cha I understa'."
Sitting on the floor at his feet Tommy pulled a toy out of his pocket to play with till Chakotay was ready to leave.
Ten minutes later Chakotay looked down at Tommy playing with a grin, "Doodle bug you ready to go home?" Chakotay didn't know why he kept calling Tommy Doodle bug but it seem to suit him and Tommy didn't complain about the nick name during their time together he had be searching for a suitable nickname to call him in private, Tom had shorten his name to Cha or Chak or even Tay but Tom's couldn't be change no matter now many times he had tried.
Grinning up at him, having forgotten his frustration from before with a gleam in his shining blue eyes, Tommy jumped to his feet holding up his hand to be held as they walked back to their quarters.
Swinging Tom up into his arms Chakotay said, "I'll see you all later, I think a certain little fellow needs to be cleaned up and ready for some sleep."
Hearing the word bath Tommy wriggled trying to get free with a yelp, "Me don't need bath."
Tighten his grip so Tommy wouldn't fall saying, "Tommy you got more food on you than in your stomach look at your face." Chakotay told him with a grin.
Wiping his face with the back of his hand smearing the juices around his chin and cheeks pulling his hand away with a smile, "There done all clea' Tay."
Mussing up Tommy hair with his free hand saying, "That doesn't look right Doodle Bug you've just made a bigger mess."
With a pout Tommy leant towards him saying, "Still have to take that bath?"
With a grin Chakotay nodded saying, "Now say goodbye to everyone." Looking over at Tuvok and Harry saying, "Give me half an hour to give Tommy his bath and to settled him down then come over."
Tuvok nodded, "We will be there Commander."
"See you then, come on Tommy lets go home."
With a wave Tommy called out, "Bye, bye hope to see you all soon."
Chakotay with Tom in his arms walked out of the Mess hall with a chorus of goodbyes and with Tommy waving to everyone as they left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Child Of Love 10
Chakotay heard his door buzz as he finished bathing Tommy thinking, "I should have told them an hour,"
With a squeal Tommy raced from the bathroom leaving wet patches as he went, "They here Chak."
Pushing himself up from the floor saying, "Tommy come back here, so I can get you dry and dressed."
"But Cha they are here waiting on the other side."
Hiding his smile explained to him, "Doodle Bug, I don't think Harry and Tuvok wish to greeted by you with no clothes on."
"But Cha, you can't keep the' waitin'." Tommy exclaimed.
Chakotay tried to keep his smile from shining through saying, "Ok how about a compromise then?"
Tommy screwed up his face, "What a comp. . . Com'mise?"
Before he could answer Tommy, his door buzzed again not giving it another thought, he called out, "Come."
As the door open, Tommy darted out into the hall throwing himself at Harry with a delighted laugh, "Har, I missed you."
Harry trying to stop from being bowled over by a dripping wet Tommy holding him away from him, Harry carried Tommy at arm lengths over to Chakotay, with a grin saying, "Chakotay, I think you need to finish something."
While in midair Tommy started swinging his feet back and forth, Tommy giggled as his feet swung back and forth, with a grin Chakotay told the Tommy, "Tommy, I'd stop that if I were you."
Looking over at him asking, "Why?"
Just then he heard a hiss of pain as his foot connected with Harry's groin, Harry groaned, "That why."
"Oh."
Handing Tommy over the Commander, Chakotay placed Tommy onto his hip saying, "Tommy what do you say?"
Knowing that he was in trouble whimpered, "I didn't mean it." Burying his head into Chakotay shoulder, mumbling, "I'm sorry."
 Harry rubbing his groin saying, "I know you didn't Tommy."
Chakotay felt Tommy's tears soaking the shoulder of his uniform, rubbing his back Chakotay asked, "Tommy what wrong?"
Tommy caught up in a memory, was unable to answer him, Tommy just tighten his grip around his neck with a whimper.
Tuvok who had been quiet stated, "Commander you may find it easier if you took this to your room, Tommy won't talk in front of us."
At that Tommy begun to wail, "NOOOOOOO, make them stop, Chakotay."
Chakotay rubbed Tommy's back while saying, "I'm here, Shh."
"Make them stop, it hurts Chak."
Walking over to his room saying, "Maybe it will be better if we move the bed later."
Harry nodded saying, "Comm me when you're ready."
Tuvok said, "That will be fine, I'll let you know what happen at the meeting."
"Thanks." Once in his room he could hear his outer door close with a swish, laying Tommy down on his bed with a slight frown, sitting down beside the sobbing child, he knew with the older Tom that he wouldn't talk till he was ready but with the child he decided that course of action wouldn't work, so plunging in he asked, "Tommy did you have a flash back?"
With a sob Tommy threw himself into his arms with a wail he asked, "What happening to me?"
Chakotay knew that this time was coming but he wasn't sure how to handle it asked, "Tommy what do you remember?"
Tommy pulled away and looked him in the eye saying, "This soun' funny but I was taller, taller than you and Har and you and Tuvok and I were on a mission but I was unhappy about something."
Stunned Chakotay commed the Doctor, "Chakotay to Sickbay."
'Sickbay here.'
Looking down at Tommy as he said, "Doc I think some of Tommy's memory is returning."
'Bring him in and I'll run some tests on him.'
Feeling Tommy stiffen in his lap running a hand through his hair to help calm him Chakotay replied, "Be there in five."
Chakotay placed Tom on his bed and finished dressing him once done he held out his arms.
Tommy when into his arms wrapping his legs around the Commander's waist and his arms about his neck, "Cha?"
"Hmmm?"
"I'm not a child am I?"
"No that planet we rescued you from changed you, you landed there as a full grown man."
"Oh can it be reversed?"
"The Doctor is working on it but to be honest with you, I think you need to sort some things out before you return to us as adult."
"What sort of things?" Tommy asked.
Looking Tom in the eye saying, "Only you know that Tommy." Giving Tom a quick squeeze as he watched confusion cloud his face knowing that once Tom, his lover returned so would his masks.
Resting his head on Chakotay shoulder closing his eyes to stop the tears that were threaten to spill, "Cha what will happen if I stay like this?"
"I'll carry on loving you."
Doubt begun to cloud his mind before he could say anything they had entered Sickbay.
"Ahh there you are, did you take the scenic route?"
Glaring at the Holodoc while growling at him, "Can it Doc, just do the test."
Walking over to the bio beds Chakotay placed Tom on one moving aside to let the Doctor check Tom over.
Running his test over Tom The Doc kept looking over at Chakotay once he was done he pulled Chakotay to the side asking, "Commander, have you had time to seek out your Spirit Guide?"
Shocked at the question Chakotay shook his head, as he confirmed the Doctor's suspicions, "I have to do more tests on Tom why don't you take that time to seek out your guide."
Looking over at Tommy who was fidgety watching them as they talked, "What about Tom?"
"He can stay with me till you come for him."
Nodding Chakotay replied, "Thanks." Moving over to Tom standing in front of Tommy with a smile, "Tommy?" Waiting till Tom lifted his head before saying, "Tommy, I'm going to go on a Vision quest and The Doctor will look after you till I come for you."
With a flicker of something he couldn't describe crossed over Tommy's face.
Tommy nodded his head lowering his eyes he listened as Chakotay steps retreated.
Worried Chakotay cast another worried looked at the forlorn boy as he left Sickbay.
Once Chakotay enter his quarters he noticed that Tommy's bed was no longer sitting in the middle of the lounge looking up at the ceiling saying, "Computer had anyone but my self been in my quarters in the last half an hour?"
"Negative."
With a frown he tapped his combadge, "Chakotay to Tuvok."
'Tuvok here.'
"I have a mystery here for you to solve."
'I think I know what you're going to tell me.'
Surprised Chakotay said, "Oh and what is that?"
'Tommy bed had been moved from the lounge to your bedroom, I took the logical course and had Ensign Kim transport Tommy bed into your room once I had the lay out of you room.'
"Now why didn't I think of that?"
Tuvok told him, 'You had other things on your mind to think about Commander.'
"Thanks you for thinking of an easier way to move the bed."
'You're most welcome. Tuvok out.'
Once the mystery was solve, Chakotay gathered his medicine bundle from the selves, kicking off his shoes and yanking off his socks, he sunk to the floor sitting crossed legged, unwrapping the bundle he arranged everything within sight, composing himself he placed his hand on the akoonah and begun to recite, " Akoochimoya, We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. We are far from the bones of our people. But perhaps there is a powerful being who will embrace this man and give him the answers he seeks."
Finding himself in he special glade his guide waiting for him with her tongue lolling, 'My child you have been gone a long time.'
Sinking down Chakotay wrapped his arms around her neck burying his face in her fur saying, 'I have come to seek your guidance.'
'It's your fair-haired love?'
Nodding she told him, 'He has been waiting for you.'
Frowning Chakotay asked, 'Waiting what so you mean?'
Rolling her eyes at him saying, 'He been waiting for you,' Turning so she faced towards the trees that lined the glade, 'Go to him Chakotay, he is lost and confused, guide him back.'
Standing Chakotay peered into the distance spotting a lone figure standing at the edge of the tree line.
'Go to him if you wish to have him.' With that she loped off to join an eagle sitting on a log watching the lonely figure.
Not wanting to believe it, Chakotay walked slowly over to the figure as he got closer he could make out the details of the man he loved not the child but the adult with a delighted yell he race over to him calling out, 'Tom?'
Turning not believing that the wolf and the eagle were right, 'Cha is that you?' Racing over to him, Tom threw himself at him laughing, 'I've missed you big guy.'
Raining kissing over Tom's face saying, 'Missed you love.'
'Why am I here? I wanna go home.' Tom asked.
'You're in the Spirit Realm.'
'Spirit Realm?' Tom repeated doubtfully.
Pointing over at the two animals sitting together, 'See the Wolf?' At Tom's nod he carried on, 'She my Spirit guide.'
'Who belongs to the Hawk?'
'You mean Eagle, I'm guessing she is yours.'
'No I don't have a guide.'
Just them the Eagle screeched in pain flapping her wings, Tom eyes widen asking, 'Is she in pain?'
Chakotay had never seen or heard of an animal guide behave in this way before, 'I think she hurt that you disowned her.'
Tom snorted, 'I can't disown what I don't own.'
'She apart of you.' Chakotay explained to him.
Shaking his head Tom jumped up and stalked off leaving behind a very stunned lover.
Feeling torn between going after Tom and checking on the eagle and his guide, 'He fighting a battle my child and I'm afraid he might lose it, you need to go back and help Tommy sort through what hurting him.'
Looking doubtful Chakotay asked, 'What of Tom? What will happen if Tommy fails?'
'Have faith my child, trust in the child, he'll come through.'
Chakotay nodded, 'I trust him, but does he trust me enough? That the question.'
Sighing she laid her head in her paws saying, 'That the problem isn't it?'
Looking up at the sky Chakotay watched as the eagle soared in the breeze saying, 'Tom has every reason for not trusting people he's been hurt so many times. . .'
Cutting him off she said, 'But you wish that Tom would trust you enough to tell you want wrong?'
Nodding Chakotay explained, 'It drives me crazy, I love him but that not enough, what do I have to do to prove that he can trust me?' He cried, 'I'd die for him and I hate to see him like this, they are gonna kill him and I'll never be able to make them pay for what they have done to Tom.'
'Have you told him this?'
'How can I?'
'Tell Tommy.'
Chakotay roared, 'He's a child I can't do that to him.'
Calmly she told him, 'He is apart of Tom, you need them both to make a whole. Tommy will know what you mean, forget that he is a child, remember that inside is your Tom dwells and he'll understand.' Looking at him with soulful eyes, 'I'm not saying that it'll will be easy my child and you're not do this on your own, let your friends help you, don't push them away, they love Tom as well as you do remember that.'

With her words echoing through his head Chakotay found himself back in his quarters.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Child of Love 11
While the Doctor ran his test, Tommy sat quietly deep in thought on what Cha had told him, wondering what things he needed to work on looking over at the Doctor asking, "Doc you're my friend right?"
With what looked like suspicion on his face he looked up at the boy saying, "Some could call us friends."
Tommy looked at him asking, "Chakotay told me I needed to sort somethings out before I return back to my normal state, but I don't know what needs to be worked on."
Patting the youngest leg saying, "Tommy don't try and force it, let it happen naturally."
Screwing up his face and wailed, "But that could tak' foreve' Doc, me think I had something spea' with Cha and I ruined it."
The Holo Doc smoothly wrapped his arms about the child saying, "Tommy I don't know what was going on before this happened between you and Chakotay but I know that he loves you and he's worried about you."
"But I did something wrong and I disappointed him."
"Yes you disappointed him by hiding things from him but he stills loves you and he'll help you through this but you need to sort things out what I'm not sure of, only you know what happened in the past."
"My Past? You mean my child hood?" At his nod Tommy shook his head, "I can't." Without another word Tommy slipped off the bed and raced to the door only to find himself on the floor after crashing into someone legs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Meanwhile in another part of the ship a meeting was taking place, "So you think you can do it?"
Vorick nodded, "I can get into the circle that surrounds Paris and get him to you, but I have to ask, why a child, what harm can a little boy do you?"
In the shadows an answer came forth, "He won't remain a child forever and he may blab as a child and we can't risk that, as an adult Paris knew way to much to let him ruin it for us now."
Vorick nodded his agreement saying, "That is logical, when do you wish this to take place?"
"Within the next two weeks."
Nodding Vorick knew that he was dismissed walking out of the room.
Once Vorick left the boss stepped out of the shadows saying, "I don't trust him, keep a close eye on him Dalby."
Dalby nodded saying, "Will do." Walking out of the room Dalby followed Vorick.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chakotay left his quarters after packing away his things away, heading towards sickbay to pick Tommy up as he drew near, he spotted a crew member lurking about in the shadows, making sure he wasn't spotted, Chakotay crept closer, as he did he nodded to himself as he saw a Maquis named Jefferson, he had be a friend of Suder before Suder was placed in lock down after killing a crewman, also known for his cruelty to prisoners while in the Alpha Quadrant, they had kept a close eye on him at the beginning of the journey home, but since he kept a low profile they decided to stop.
Wondering what he was doing, Chakotay decided that he would keep a close on him, backing off as quietly as he crept forward, Chakotay made sure that he was far enough away to enter sickbay without being seen, just before he could trigger the sensors the doors opened he felt a body crash into his lower body looking down he saw Tommy on the floor, couching down he asked with concern, "Tommy are you alright?"
Nodding Tommy got his feet under him without a word, stepping closer to him, Tommy held out his arms to be picked up.
With a frown Chakotay picked him up, looking over to the Doctor asking, "What happened?"
Shrugging his shoulders the Doctor turned towards the bed saying, "We were talking about his past, so he can work through them and he got upset when it came to his childhood."
Feeling Tom shivered in his arms, Chakotay absently rubbed his back as he listened to the Doctor, "Tommy are you scared in letting us know about your childhood?"
Tommy nodded dumbly, "Not allo' to talk 'bout it."
"Why not?"
Shaking his head as he whispered, "Neve' say a word, daddy will find the' and hur' 'hem."
Shocked Chakotay looked over at the Doctor stopping him as he was about to say something. Holding Tommy closer to him, Chakotay told him, "It's Ok you don't need to say anymore." Holding his hand out to stop the Doc from ranting again, Chakotay said, "Lets get you home so you can get some rest."
Nodding tiredly, Chakotay mouthed to the Doc, "I'll Comm you once his asleep."
Nodding he watched as Chakotay carried Tommy out of sickbay with worry clouding his features, with a sad sign he turned back towards to finish running the scans.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Made contact, I have two weeks to do the job, they're running scared, they think he may say something that only the adult Tom would know about, contact me with action to be taken."
"I'll contact you in a couple of days we would have a plan sorted sit tight till then, You're been monitored, we'll take him out first then deal with the other."
"Acknowledged."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tuvok waited to be admitted into the Captain's private chambers, entering once the doors open handing her the Padd he was holding saying, "He made contact and is in, he's waiting for orders."
Fingering the Padd on, Kathryn nodded as she read the contents looking up once done saying, "Send a copy of this to the Commander and schedule a meeting of the senior officers for fifteen hundred hours."
Handing the padd back to the Vulcan as he asked, "Should that include Ensign Vorick?"
"No, he's being watched and having him here would give our hand away we'll continue getting orders to him the way we have been. That all Tuvok."
"Aye."
Kathryn watched as her trusted friend walked out, while debating whether she should have another cup of coffee fingering her empty cup as she weight the pros and cons, "Ahh what the hell." Pouring another cup from the urn that sat beside her keeping it hot for her till she was ready for more.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chakotay laid the sleeping child on top of his bed with a wistful look, pulling the blanket up covering Tom up, Chakotay kissed his forehead saying, "Sweet dreams."
Walking to his desk, Chakotay checked for messages reading through them, he decided to read the reports that were piling up on his desk before comming the Doctor, sitting down he begun to read them, when he noticed that he had a new message, he opened it up, he read the contents with a frown, hitting the new message button, he sent a message to Wildman to see if she could look after Tom while he went to the meeting. Sitting back to read the reports while he waited for Sam's answer.
Five minutes later Chakotay stopped reading the reports and opened a report on his console, he begun reading the history of Tom Paris that had be forwarded to him by the Doctor, what he read made him sick and angry.
An hour later, Chakotay peeked into his room to check on Tom walking into the room to pick up the blanket he had kicked off, placing it back over Tommy, Chakotay stood and stared at him thinking about what he had read, asking aloud, "How can anyone hurt a sweet child like you?" Brushing Tom's hair off his fore head with a smile, "We'll work through this together baby." With that he turned and walked out, not noticing the blue eyes that followed him out of the room.
Tommy had woken when Chakotay replaced the blanket making out that he was still sleeping, as he listened to him once he knew the room empty. Tom crawled out of bed walking slowly to the door peeking through the door, he saw Chakotay slumped on the couch with his head in his hands sobbing, shocked Tommy raced over to his side climbing up onto the couch calling out, "Cha what wrong?"
Chakotay pulled the little boy into his lap saying, "I'm sad."
Brushing his fingers over the tail of tears asking, "Why sad?"
Kissing his finger tips Chakotay leant back with a sign, "It's hard to explain Poocuh."
"It's 'cause you miss big Tom."
Wearily Chakotay nodded, "I miss big Tom."
"You love big Tom a lot don' you?" Tommy asked.
Holding Tommy closer to him as he kissed the top of his head, "I love you both a lot."
"I know that you love me but big Tom not so sure, he thinks he's disappointed you by not telling you something important."
Signing Chakotay nodded, "I know but I still love him, he everything to me and I don't want to lose him."
"Cha is that why I'm here?"
Looking down at him asking, "What do you mean Tommy?"
Tommy explained, "I think I'm here to do something that big Tom refuses to do but I don't know what."
Chakotay nodded saying, "I think you're right, to get big Tom back you need to do whatever he refuses to do but I know that what ever it is you can do it."
Sinking his head against Chakotay chest saying, "I hope you're right,"
Caressing Tommy's back to reassure the boy he said, "I know I'm right, I have faith in you and in big Tom to do the right thing."
Tommy felt himself slipping back to sleep as he settled deeper into Chakotay embrace.
Chakotay continued smoothing Tommy as he slipped back into dreamland, deep in his own thoughts he didn't hear the chime of his door sound.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
B'Elanna hit the chime again feeling rather silly standing in front the Commander door, looking both ways checking to see if anyone was watching her as she punched in his code, stepping into his quarters with a smile, Tommy asleep on Chakotay chest and he was so relaxed that the look of sorrow he had been wearing since this had happened had disappeared, Softly walking closer B'Elanna knelt beside them calling softly, "Chakotay?"
Snapping out of his thoughts Chakotay smiled at her, "B'Ela?"
"I did ring but you didn't answer." she told him.
Nodding at her waiting for her to explain why she was there, "Sam couldn't get a reply back to you, her Comm system is down, so I'm here to play messenger, she'll come by just before the meeting to pick Tommy  up."
Chakotay nodded as he sat up, making sure he didn't wake Tommy up as he gathered him up in his arms saying, "I'll just put him back to bed wait here and we can discuss the other thing."
Nodding B'Elanna stood up watching with a smile when he returned she told him, "You're good with him, have you discussed the possibly of having children with Tom?"
With a snort of amusement Chakotay told her, "Tom would run a mile in the other direction, if I bought up the subject of having children, I hope one day he'll believe me that I won't leave him, maybe once he believes that, he'll warm up to the idea of children."
B'Elanna nodded saying, "That was one of the reasons we broke up, he wouldn't believe me, I would get frustrated at having to reassuring him all the time, I don't know how you manage not to scream at him or hit him just to make him see reason."
"I've hit him once, just once but once was enough, I never what to see that fear directed at me ever again, I've vowed never to raise my hand to him ever again, I can't say the same about the yelling at him, I can't promise not to raise my voice, but I try to keep calm and direct my anger towards the people who turned Tom into this vulnerable young man, his self esteem is so low and if it takes me forever to reassure him that I love him, then I'll do it."
"I'm glad that it's you that taken him under your wing, you know if it wasn't you, I think Tuvok would have."
"I know, Tuvok a good friend of Tom's and he watches out for him just like Tom watches out for all his friends."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Child of love 12
B'Elanna smiled saying, "It's weird how he'll do anything for his friends but won't let them help him when he needs help."

Chakotay nodded as he stared at the hanging on opposite wall, it was one of his prized possession, Tom had given it to him on his last birthday, Tom had put alot of thought into the gift, it seemed that Tom had researched his cultural history and Chakotay knew that it didn't come from the replicator, Tom had spent hours weaving it, every piece of the hanging had come from planets they visited in the Delta. Chakotay had seen other work of Tom and had mentioned that he'd like one of Tom's hangings for his main wall in his living area of his quarters and given it to him for his birthday.

Chakotay remembered the day he received it, he had been shocked to see his spirit guide right in the middle of the tapestry, when he asked Tom about it later in private, Tom had told him that it felt right to him to use the wolf it had been a toss up between a Bear and the wolf and the wolf had won out, Tom had also told him that the wolf represented him, Tom pointed out that in the others he used things from their cultural as well, with Harry he had used Chinese symbols and in Janeway he used Irish and Chakotay knew that in Tuvok one he was using Vulcan and in B'Elanna's he used a mixture of Klingon and Human symbols in her. The best present came later that night but that  was another story.

Watching her former Captain as he stared at a wall hanging that hung on the opposite wall from them she noticed that it was one of Tom's she knew of only apart from her she knew of two other people who have hangings made by Tom, Harry and Janeway and she knew that Tom was in the middle of making another one for Tuvok. Looking back at her former Captain asking, "Chakotay, do you think you'll marry him?"

Chakotay frowned as he looked over at her as he said, "I want to but Tom scared of commitment of any sort, I was going to ask him when this happened."
Nodding she asked, "Do you think he will ever get over this need to run and hide every time something happens?"
"I hope so, I really do."
Not seeing the tiny figure standing just out of sight listening to them, Tommy knew that they wouldn't talk freely if they knew he was listening but he needed to know everything concerning what he needed to work out he had a fair idea but he needed more and Cha wouldn't tell him so if finding out meant listening without them knowing then so be it, he'd do anything to make Cha happy and Big Tom made Cha very happy.
Chakotay musing cut short when his door chimed calling out, "Enter."
Chakotay looked up as his doors slid open to reveal Samantha and Jeanette with Naomi standing between them holding their hands.
Standing up Chakotay smiled saying, "Come in Ladies, I'll just go and see if Tommy awake and gather some things together."
Sam reached out to stop him saying, "Commander Chakotay, I was wondering if it would be alright, if we stayed here Commander?"
Looking over at her he noticed that she was nervous about something she wouldn't look at him and removed her hand as soon as she got his attention.
Concerned he asked, "What wrong Sam?"
Sam looked over at Jeanette saying, "You tell him Jean."
Jeanette looking like she'd rather run the other way than tell her former Captain what she knew.
Rocking back and forth on her heels debating whether to tell him everything she had heard or edit it and leave things out.
Chakotay watched as the young woman fought herself and said, "Just tell me and everything don't edit it."
Shocked Jeanette eyes flew up and locked onto his face asking, "How did you know sir?"
With a slight smile Chakotay told her, "It was written all over your face remember never play poker with the bridge crew they'd take everything you own."
Blushing Jeanette nodded saying, "Tom has told me that before sir."
Chakotay gestured towards the couch saying, "Have a seat, would you like a drink?"
Sam walked over the couch saying, "Just an O.J Sir."
"Same here." Jeanette spied Tommy hovering by the door saying, "Hey there."
Chakotay looked up saying, "Doodle bug are you done with napping?"
Tommy crept over to Chakotay as he clutched Bluey to his chest saying, "Yes, may I have some juice?"
Looking down at his tiny change saying, "What sort?"
"Pineapple."
"Go and see if Naomi would like some as well."
Screwing his face up remembering his last meeting with her he knew that big Tom loved her but for some reason he didn't like her, Tommy held Bluely tighter saying, "Naomi would you like some juice?"
At her nod Tommy turned back saying, "She'd like some Cha."
Chakotay nodded saying, "Tommy after you have your juice why don't you show Naomi your things?"
Nodding quietly Tommy waited for his juice to be handed to him once Cha handed it to him Tommy disappeared into their room placing his drink on the night stand that sat between Chakotay bed and his climbing up onto his bed Tommy sat in the middle crossing his tiny legs and settled down to think about the things he learnt that day.
Chakotay hid his smile as he tried to apology before he could utter a word Sam stopped him by saying, "It's alright he at the stage where little girls are gross and the farther away they are the better it is I grew up with three brothers and they all did it as well and I'm pretty sure you did it as well."
Grinning Chakotay placed the tray down saying, "You caught me must be a common trait between men."
Once seated, Chakotay returned his focus back to the young lady sitting at the table fiddling with her glass as she sat in thought not wanting to push her but he needed to leave soon so B'Elanna and he wouldn't be late.
Coming out of her funk Jeanette said, "Commander it might be better if you call the rest of the senior officers they need to hear this as well."
Glancing over at her saying, "Come with us then we have a meeting in ten minutes, Sam can you still stay here?"
"Sure you don't need me there Jean can tell you everything you need to know."
Gulping down the rest of his drink Chakotay stood up taking his empty glass to the table then walked over to his room pausing as he watch Tommy as he sat talking to Bluely he could see his lips moving but he couldn't hear any words, not wanting to disturb but knowing he had to he called out softly, "Tommy."
Tommy grinned as he heard his name called, "Cha."
Walking closer Chakotay sank down onto the bed pulling Tommy onto his lap blowing dropping a kiss onto the top of his head saying, "Tommy I have to go and see The Captain for awhile, I want you to stay here with Ensign Wildman and Naomi till I return."
"But Cha we were meant to go exploring today." whined Tommy pursing his lips into a pout.
Chakotay hugged the child closer to him saying, "I know and we will in the morning, now I have to go and when I get back we'll have dinner and watch a vid together."
At Tommy slight nod Chakotay released his change saying, "Now be good and I'll see you when I'm finished." Running his thumbs over Tommy's cheeks to wipe the tears that ran down his face leaning close Chakotay gave Tommy a quick peck on the cheek saying, "I have to go now Doodle bug."
Wrapping his arms about the big man neck Tommy placed a kiss onto his cheek saying, "Bye, bye."
Ruffling Tommy's hair as Tommy released him, he watched as Tommy settling back onto his bed once he was settled Chakotay turned on his heels walked out of the room with a slight grin as he felt eyes watching him.
Tommy watched as his hero walked out of the room with a sigh saying under his breath, "What ever it is that I need to work out, I'll do it for you Cha."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Child of Love 13
"Any news?"
"He's clean no meetings he's setting up a meeting with the Commander about spending sometime with the brat."
"Good but I still don't trust him. Keep an eye on him but don't go with him when he cares for the brat. You know that kid hates you just like the older one hated you."
"Weird that I'm good with children,"
"Huh even that Wildman kid dislikes you Dalby It's gotta be something they can see in you that we don't. They do say that kids don't lie. God you're not one of those?"
"Hell no."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chakotay headed back to his quarters to rehash some of points made during the meeting. Some of the things had not surprised him but others just plain shocked him. Chakotay had decided to seek guidance with his animal guide hoping to sort out some of the things that needed to be worked on and hoping that he saw Tom again.
Harry was going to take Tommy out for awhile on the holodeck so Chakotay could go on his quest. Till then he was going to spent with the child before his Tom came back to him. He knew that Tommy's time was nearly over. He didn't know why he knew it, he just did. He was going to miss the child but he'd be glad to have his Tom back. He had missed him a great deal.
Entering his quarters he heard laughter coming from the bathroom. Walking into the bathroom he saw Sam sitting on the toilet seat watching Naomi and Tommy playing giggling in the tub. "Sounds like someone having fun."
"Cha. . ." Tommy squealed as he saw him standing by the door.  Jumping to his feet making the water spill over the edge.
"Tommy, sit back down please."
Pouting, Tommy flopped backed down grabbing the yellow duck from Naomi saying, "Mine."
"Hey no fair."
"Mine."
Chakotay frowned saying, "Tommy give the duck back to Naomi."
"No, mine."
Not sure why Tommy was having another bath, since he had one earlier. With a questioning look at Sam, who just pointed to the pile of clothes in the middle of the floor.
Peering at the mess he understood. It seemed that Naomi and Tommy had gotten their hands on some paint from somewhere and started painting each other with it.
"You're lucky I got it out of their hair or Tommy would have green hair and Naomi yellow with green strips. It seems that my darling daughter had overheard the twins, and some of the others, talking about doing a makeover night, and she thought that she'd have one as well."
Chuckling, Chakotay asked, "You didn't happen to take a picture of that did you?"
Smirking at him she pointed to the holo camera sitting on his bed saying, "I sure did."
Wondering how his camera got out of his draw he asked, "Where did you find that?"
"Tommy was pouring over photos. It seems he remember where you kept them. I hope you don't mind?"
"No not at all. I was going to show them to him, and I was going to take some pictures of him before he went away."
Moving just out of the children's hearing, but still being able to watch them, Samantha asked, "How is everything going on that front?"
"Vorick under watch, he's going to spend some time with Tommy and me tomorrow morning so that Tommy can get use of him. Then in the afternoon it'll be just the two of them." 
Samantha watched him while as he talked. Then suddenly asked, "You're going to miss him, aren't you?"
Stunned, Chakotay asked, "Miss who?" As soon as the words left his mouth he knew, "Yeah, I'm gonna miss Tommy but to be honest I'd be glad to have Tom back."
Glancing into the bathroom when she heard Tommy giggle as he splashed Naomi with a handful of water saying, "This hasn't been easy for you has it?"
Watching as Naomi repaid Tommy back in fill, Chakotay replied, "I know I've only had him for a couple of days but I want my Tom back. I know that sounds horrible, but it's how I feel."
"No, it's not horrible."
Looking over at her with a faint smile, "While you're here and the camera out, Would you take a picture of me and Tommy?"
"I sure can. Shall we get him out of the bath then?"
Heading into the bathroom armed with towels and clothes, Chakotay plucked Tommy out of the water while Sam dealt with her daughter.
Once dressed, Chakotay walked with Tommy in his arms out to the living area. Trying to find a nice spot for them to have their photo taken, when Tommy pointed to the hanging, "There, Cha."
"Perfect, Tommy."
Moving over to the hanging, turning he glanced around spying his favorite chair placing Tommy onto the floor saying, "Stay there Tommy I'm going to move my chair over so we can sit in it."
Samantha smiled as she fiddled with the camera getting it ready, Naomi at her feet pouting that she wasn't going to be in the photo as well.
Thanking whoever thought of putting wheels onto furniture to make life easier when moving things about, wheeling the chair over to Tommy asking, "Okay Tommy where do you think I should put this?"
Moving over to Chakotay, Tommy with his finger on his chin, "Me think over there, Cha."
Pointing just to the left of the middle of the hanging it meant that Chakotay's guide would also be in the picture.
"Good choice, Tommy." said Chakotay, ruffling the boy's
hair.
Taking a swipe at Chakotay, Tommy replied, "Hey, me need hair tidy, not all mussed up."
Grinning down at him, saying, "We'll fix that up for you once we have this chair in place. Now, are you ready to help me move this?"
Climbing up onto the chair Tommy sat down swinging his over the side.  With a grin he stated, "Am now."
Naomi rushed over trying to climb up on to the chair as well. Tommy helped her up as Naomi said, "Me too."
With a smile looking down at the two, saying, "Is this your way of helping?"
"Yup, Mommy did this all the time saying that I was a big help by sitting on the chairs while she and my sisters moved everything." Tommy explained.
Pursing his lips as he thought about it thinking, 'Most likely the only fun thing he remembers from his childhood.' Out aloud he said, "And she right, it's a big help."
Sam raise the camera up to her eye and snapped a photo of the three of them. And then another of the two children delight as the commander pushed the chair into place
Once in place Chakotay swept Tommy out of the chair tucking him under his arm then swept Naomi up tucking her under his other arm saying, "Okay you two, let's get all nice for photos shall we?"
"Yah."
With a squeal of delight Chakotay trotted off toward his room dropping them onto his bed laughing as they bounced on his bed.
Calling out, "Sam, you might want to tidy up as well."
"Whatever for Commander?"
"For having your photo taken as well. I'm sure you'd like to have a new one of you and Naomi don't you?"
"Sure but. . ."
"No buts, if you want me to make it an order I can do so."
Shaking her head as she patted her wayward hair saying, "I'm not dressed right."
With a chuckled, Chakotay rolled his eyes saying, "You look fine to me. Run a brush through your hair and you'd look perfect, right kids?"
Naomi bounced on the bed saying, "Please mommy me wanna have a 'hot' with you."
Tommy jumped up and down on the bed chanting over and over, "Me too."
With a smirk that could only have only been learnt from Tom Paris, Chakotay asked her, "You don't want to disappoint the children do you?"
Shaking her head at him with a mock frown saying, "You play dirty Commander, or Tom taught you well."
"I had a great teacher Sam and I think it's about time you call me by my name when we're off duty don't you?"
With a gleam in her eyes she asked, "And that would be what?"
Laughing as he fell onto his bed holding his middle, getting his breath back as Tommy climbed onto his chest, saying, "If I didn't know better Sam I'd say that you were flirting with me."
Joining him on his bed saying, "What can I say I had a great teacher as well."
Snagging Tommy from Chakotay's chest saying in an all serious tone, "All joking aside Chakotay, you know I wouldn't do that, I love Tom like a brother and I have to much respect for you to do that and I'm too happy with Joe." 
Sitting up dragging Naomi into his arms saying, "I know that and how is Joe doing? I haven't seen him in awhile."
"Oh you know those engineer types. They always have to find something wrong with something, I left him asleep when I came over."
With his head on Sam's chest, Tommy listened as they talked about Big Tom. When Cha begun talking about him, Tommy saw his eyes light up he had to have a talk with big Tom before he left and make sure that all his doubts were laid to rest Tommy knew that big Tom doubted Cha's love for him at times.
Shocked out of his thoughts as Sam sat him on the bed saying, "Okay let's hustle it up. These pictures aren't going to take themselves are they? Chakotay where is your brush?"
Pointing over to his dresser where his and Tom's brushes and combs laid.
Sam walked over picking up a brush tossing it over to him saying, "Brush Tommy's hair and I'll deal with Naomi's."
Catching the brush in midair saying, "Deal. Toss me the comb as well please." Muttering under his breath, "Have no idea why I have a brush for don't need the damn thing."
Sam chuckled saying, "Joe's the same, he never used it, since he got that buzz cut he so proud of."
"Yes, I heard he had it all cut off but haven't seen it yet."
With a grin Sam told him, "When you do, don't laugh."
"That bad huh?"
"No, just different."
Chakotay brushed Tommy's hair once he settled him down saying, "Okay lets get this show on the road shall we?"
Reaching up to Chakotay, Tommy smiled up at him saying, "Yup me wanna have pictur's taken with you."
Lifting Tommy up Chakotay hugged him to his chest saying, "As do I."
Walking out of his room with Sam on his heels saying, "You and Tommy get settled into the chair and then the kids can pose together with you and then by themselves and I'll have one done with Naomi and Tommy as well."
Tommy asked her, "May I have one with just you and me, Sam?"
Bending down to his level tweaking his nose saying, "You sure can Angel."
Sitting on the chair Chakotay held out his hands saying, "Come on Tommy, let's have this picture taken."
"Okie dokey?"  Walking over to Chakotay, Tommy tried to climb up on his own but got stuck halfway up, "Help me, Cha."
With a smile Chakotay lifted Tommy and placed him of his lap.  Once he was satisfied with the pose he looked over at Sam saying, "Ready when you are."
Once she took the photo then another just in case. She had heard from everyone on board that Chakotay hated having his picture taken.  He didn't fight them, he just complained afterwards.  Now Tommy, on the other hand, loved to have his picture taken.  He was a natural born "ham".  He also loved taking them.  Many times she wondered why Tom didn't make it a career instead of a hobby.
Once all the photo's were taken, Harry had joined them halfway through the session and insisted on having a photo of him and Tommy taken as well.
Harry asked, "Chakotay how did they con you into having your photo taken?"
"They didn't, I asked Sam to take one of me and Tommy as a reminder after he goes."
Shocked, Harry stuttered, "But. . . You. . . hate having. . . your. . . photo . . . taken."
Biting his lower lip to prevent himself from laughing at Harry expression. Looking at him saying, "I don't actually hate having it taken."  Pausing as he waited for Harry to catch his breath, "Harry have you ever seen Tom's albums?"
"I've seen some but there are two that he refuses to show anyone."
"Ahh, they'd be the ones of us two or just me. I'll show you the one of me and Tom that I have sitting on my night stand."
Before he could move, Tommy raced into the room saying, "Me get it, Cha."
Chakotay smiled as he watch the slight figure of Tommy dart into the room and back again clutching the frame that held his most precious item.
Handing the frame over to Chakotay, Tommy sat down at his feet looking up as Cha hand fell on top of his head.
 Looking down at the beaming face of Tommy he asked, "Are you ready to hit the Holodecks with Harry?"
"Yup, He promised me we'd play a Flotter story, Naomi told me all about them and I wants to see one."
Chakotay knew that Tom never knew of the Flotter craze when he was child. His father hadn't let him use the holodecks for fun. Tom was making up for it now. If Chakotay couldn't find Tom, Chakotay would find him sometimes with Naomi or by himself running a Flotter story.
"I'm sure you'll enjoy it, Doodle bug."
"You know, he'll hate that name?"
"Who?" Chakotay asked with a start of a frown on his brow.
"Big Tom, It'll embarrass him greatly."
"I know and I know that Tom will let me use it in private."
"True."
Chakotay had concerns about using "Doodle bug" once Tom returned to him but it suited him to a T.  He had decided to wait and see what Tom's reaction would be when he said it to him for the first time as an adult. Or if he retained any memories of being Tommy at all.
"Well, if you're going to go to the Holodecks you better go, kiddo."
Jumping to his feet Tommy climbed onto Chakotay's lap, throwing his arms about his neck asking, "You sure you don't wanna join us?"
"Not this time, Angel. I have to work through some things." Chakotay explained to the small boy. "Now be good for Harry."
 Nodding, Tommy took hold of Harry's hand saying, "You ready Har?"
"Sure am." Handing the Frame back to Chakotay Harry saying,        said, "Comm me when you're finished Commander, if it's too late I'll feed Tommy and put him to bed."
"Thanks Harry."  Chakotay watched as Harry and Sam left with the children.
Once alone, Chakotay looked at the photo in his hand.  It was taken on an away mission on some obscure little planet.  Once they stowed the supplies the crew was given a few hours of shore leave.  Chakotay smiled as he remembered when it had been taken. They had been watching the sun set turned towards each other. Wrapped in each other arms, Tom told him that he was in love with him.  They were about to kiss when one of the natives snapped the photo.
Clutching the frame to his chest,  "Oh God, Tom, I miss you so much and I want back."  Letting the tears fall for the first time since the whole mess started.
Half an hour later Chakotay wiped his eyes, Moving to his room he placed the frame back in it's place. Tracing Tom's face he whispered,  "Come home soon "Doodle bug", I miss you."
Child of love 14
Gathering together his medicine bundle placing it on the floor, Chakotay stripped off his clothes sinking to the floor he got comfortable on the floor arranging everything within sight, lightly laying his hand on the akoonah and begun to recite, " Akoochimoya, We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. We are far from the bones of our people. But perhaps there is a powerful being who will embrace this man and give him the answers he seeks."

Finding himself near the lake seeing his guide laying by the water walking over to her with a smile which fell when she stated, "Tom in danger bring little Tommy to the spirit realm it's time to talk, go now my child."

Finding himself back in his quarters after the shortest visit to the Spiritual realm ever, Chakotay jumped to his feet, dashing out the door, luckily he decided not to do his quest naked like he did most of the times, racing to the tubo lifting, activating his badge, "Harry where are you?"
"I'm at my cabin why?"
"Stay there, I'm on my way."
Darting into the lift as it's doors slid open startling members of the crew already inside, "Deck six."
Tapping his foot wishing that the lift would move faster ignoring the others Chakotay bolted once the door slid open at his stop leaving behind confused crew, "What up with him?" One asked.
"Who knows since he gotten with Paris, he gotten weird."
"Oh be quite Mike, you're just jealous that you didn't get to first base with either man."
With a grin Mike said, "Damn straight I am. God you've heard the talk about Paris and no one knew that Commander Chakotay liked men, God if we knew there would have been a line at his door a mile wide."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hitting Harry's door at near Warp, looking about wildly asking, "Where is he?"
Tommy in a small voice, "I'm here Cha."
"Thank god."
Harry asked, "Commander what wrong?"
Taking deep calming breaths, as he stared at Tommy who was staring back at him saying, "My guide told me that Tommy was in danger and for me to take him with me to the spiritual realm."
"Is that wise?"
"He'll be with me and I'll have Tuvok the Captain B'Elanna and you watching over us, can you contact them for me and have them met me at my quarters say in an hour?"
Confused Harry tentative said, "Sure."
"I'll explain everything I know then, I don't know much myself but I think it's wise for people we trust to be watching over us."
Sinking down onto his knees Chakotay drew Tommy into his grasp saying, "We going home now Angel."
With tears sliding down his cheeks asking, "It's time isn't it?"
Numbly getting to his feet saying, "I think so baby."
Tightening his grip about Chakotay neck sobbing, "I don't know what I'm meant to do Cha,"
Rubbing his back as he tried to calm the young boy down saying, "I think you have done what you're meant to Tommy."
"How?"
"Shhh, I think you've given Tom the change he needed to think things through and when you go to Spirit realm with me, you'll get to talk to him about the things you've learnt in your time with us, things he doesn't believe and will only believe it if you tell him."
"I'll tell him Cha."
"I know." Getting his feet under him he stood up carefully looking over at Harry saying, "Thanks Harry for taking care of him. I'll take him home now."
"It was my pleasure and I'll see you in an hour."
Nodding Chakotay walked out of Harry's quarters as he passed Tom's quarters when Tommy asked, "Cha may we go inside?"
Looking at the door of his lovers quarters he hadn't stepped foot inside since Tommy had arrived, "Sure Doodle bug." Moving over to the door Chakotay punched in the code, when the doors slid open Chakotay paused at the door with a gasp of surprised, Tom's quarters had been destroyed, everything ripped to shreds.
Tommy wriggled down and raced into Tom's room moaning, "Please let it be there."
"Tommy wait."
"I need to find it Cha, it's all he has left of our mother."
"Oh god." Racing in after Tommy, he slid to his knees beside the bed tilting it over, he begun searching through the boxes under it, till he heard a wail of grief, looking up with dread he watched as Tommy crawled over to him with the remains of a photo in his hands, "It's ruined Cha, the' broke it. Look."
Holding out his hand to show him Chakotay tried to breath around the lump in his throat, "Oh god no, anything but that."
Gathering the wailing boy into his lap he begun to rock them back and forth.
Calling up at the ceiling calling out, "Commander Chakotay to Captain Janeway."
"Janeway here what up Chakotay?"
"Can you and Tuvok come to Tom's quarters?"
"On our way."
Chakotay curled up around Tommy trembling  body, "Shh it's Okay Angel."
"No it's not."
"I'm sure we can fix it."
"No it not fixabl' and it's the 'lny one Cha."
Chakotay curse each and every person involved in thrashing Tom's quarters and tearing up the last reminder of Tom's mother he had of her, she had died when he was only four years old.
Tommy clutched at the remaining pieces of the photo saying, "I know I'm only thre' but I have Big Tom's memories, to me mommy still alive but in my min' she died. I don't want my mommy to die Cha."
Sitting up Chakotay wiped the tears from Tommy's pale cheeks saying, "I wish I could change history Angel and take all the pain away but I can't."
Tommy nodded as he rested his head on Cha's chest and in a small voice he asked, "Why did she do it Cha?"
Kissing the top of Tommy's head asking, "Do what?"
In a very small voice he said, "Why did she kill herself?"
Pulling back Chakotay searched Tommy face while asking, "Tommy what did you say?"
From the doorway a male voice replied, "Mrs. Paris ended her life."
Jerking his head towards the door seeing Kathryn and Tuvok standing there in a daze he asked, "She did?"
Kathryn nodded as Tuvok said, "Yes I think Tom blocked it, he didn't want to believe that she took her own life."
"Who found her? No don't tell me let me guess, Tom did."
"You're correct Commander, Tom did find her, Admiral Paris was away on a mission when it happened."
"Spirits."
"Indeed."
Looking down at Tommy while asking, "Do you think that this is one of the things Tom has to work out?"
"Indeed there is many things Mister Paris needs to work out from his past and he needs to sort out his feelings about certain things."
Chakotay nodded saying, "I have to take Tommy with me to the spiritual realm to met with Tom."
Concerned Kathryn asked, "Do you think it's time?"
"Yes I think everything coming to a head, by time we come back, we'll have some answers."
Slowly getting to his feet with Tommy still clinging to him saying, "I need to explain to Tommy his part in all this and spend some time with him before we start."
Kathryn nodded as she rubbed Tommy's back saying, "Take all the time you need, if you need more time than what you told us, Comm me and I'll let the others know."
Nodding his thanks, Chakotay walked out of Tom's quarters with Tommy in his arms, without another word.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Glancing about Tom's quarters Kathryn knelt down when her eyes caught the remains of a photo, picking up the pieces she begun putting them together sitting back on her heels grief filled eyes whispering, "Why didn't you seek help Helen?"
Tuvok stood off to one side as he scanned the room saying, "I believe she did but was ignored because of who was involved."
"Can this be fixed?"
Glancing at the photo, Tuvok moved closer saying, "I think I can repair it for Tom."
Gathering the pieces together saying, "Thanks Tuvok, Tom will appreciate it."
Offering the pieces up to the Vulcan as he said, "It's the least I can do after all he done for me, it make a good change to be able to do something for him."
Nodding that the truth in that, Kathryn glance about at the ruined room saying, "Have someone sort through this mess and see what can be saved from this." Standing up she moved the living area saying, "They even ruined his hangings." Picking up the remains of a hanging from the floor saying, "I hope he can finish the one he was working on in time, that reminds me, his albums need to be found."
Tuvok who had followed out said, "I know where they are, he moved them and his latest project to the Commander's quarters since he has been staying there most of the time, so most of his things are there already."
"Thank god."
Tuvok asked, "Who should I get to clean this mess up?"
Closing her eyes as she rubbed the bridge of her nose saying, "Hum I think maybe Samantha and Jeanette would be the best choice for that job I think."
"Wise choice."
Child of love 15
Chakotay walked into his quarters in a daze, setting Tommy down on the floor, sinking down beside him opening his arms in despair.
Scrambling into Cha's open arms Tommy settled into Chakotay's lap pressing his face into his chest Tommy cried.
Tightening his grip Chakotay petted Tommy's hair in comfort as tears silently slid down his face.
Once Tommy grew quiet Chakotay hugged him closer saying, "Tommy I need to explain some things that need to be done tonight, in order for you and Tom to talk."
Tommy moved out of his arms standing up with a small smile saying, "I know what do to Cha."
"I'm sure you do Doodle bug but I need to explain, can you indulge me for awhile?"
Wrapping his tiny arms about his neck saying, "Sur' can Cha."
Tapping Tommy nose saying, "Good now let me explain, as you know it time for you and Big Tom to talk time for him to tell you things that he has been hiding from us you're the messenger in that part of things your job is to get Tom to remember things that he has buried and to reassure him that it's okay to remember and for him to find the closure he's looking for."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tom stared at his spirit guide and Chakotay's guide, frowning at them as they talk to him, "Thomas my child, as you know you've had made great strides dealing with your past but now it's time for you to go back to the real world and be with Chakotay, it's your destiny child, they coming for you to bring you back."
Tom looked between the two asking dully, "Chakotay and Tommy right?"
"They're coming to talk but the ones who gave you this chance to work on things are coming, they as well as we feel that it's time to end your self punishment. The one who have hurt have to pay for their crimes against you."
"I understand but it's so hard."
Tom watched as the wolf padded over to him, he felt at peace with his guide and the wolf they had waited patiently for him to seek them out in his own time and once he did they supported him throughout the whole thing letting him rage and scream throughout, but he knew that he was better for it and he knew that Chakotay was right about talking things out.
"It's never easy to give up a life time of hurts, you've clung to them all your life, holding them to your chest as you would in a card game, it's time to let the ones who love you in. Chakotay is waiting for you, he wants to walk beside you till the ends of the days and beyond. It's time to think of what he wants. . . No correction, it's time for what you both want, Thomas you know deep in your heart you've been testing him to see if he will really stay with you before you commit to him, but trust him, he won't hurt you, and trust yourself as well Thomas give the rest of you over to him as he has done for you, he's given you his heart and soul and most of all his life, can you offer him the same?" 
Both guides watch the man features as he sat in thought, both with a fond smile, well what would pass for a smile, they were glad that the human was willing to work things out with them they both knew without him telling them what his life was like but he needed to say it out aloud, they rejoiced when he even told them who was behind everything on Voyager though it shocked them and the wolf knew that it would shock the hell of Chakotay, since Chakotay once called him friend.
Tom nodded as he settled his thoughts, saying, "I can't offer any less than he has, he deserves my love which I have been with holding, to scare to give it to him since others have thrown it back at me with a laugh and punches for good measure. I do love him more than anything and if I have been testing him it was done  without thought, which I have come to realize I haven't given any thought to him, just thinking of myself hoping like hell I wouldn't get hurt and all the while I was doing just that, hurting him by not telling him what I really thought or want was wrong when he asked. Damn you know what I wouldn't be surprised if he told to fuck off, oh sorry I forgot no swearing while in this plane."
"We understand and forgive you. Chakotay will understand and forgive you, do you know why?"
With a grin Tom nodded saying, "Because he loves me and when you really love someone you forgive them and help them through their time of need. And from now on if he'll have me I'll do just that."
Rubbing her face against Tom's cheek as the eagle flapped her wings, hopping of the rock she had been perched on asking, "Thomas, before you were frowning at the news of going back, Why?"
Tom snorted as he tired explain, "As you know I've never had a love for counselors since they always betrayed me telling people about things I've told them during sessions, I know I need to see either Tuvok or the Doctor, though I would have trusted Chakotay but he to close to me to be able to help in that manner and I would want him to support me by being able to hug me when I need one, I'm just scared that it would happen again, and I've been through this all with the two of you and don't really want to rehash it all with them."
"I understand and I think once they see you in the real world they won't make you see a counselor if you explain that you have had help to sort through everything but I hope that you will trust Chakotay and tell him, he needs to know if anyone does."
"Thanks and yes he needs to know."
"Good now it's time to rest Thomas, Tommy and Chakotay will be here soon for a chat then you go home."
"Will I be able to come back?"
"You better child, ask Chakotay to help you and have him teach you the ways of his people and teach him the ways of yours Thomas as well,  and show Chakotay who you really are under all those masks  of yours and let Chakotay show you, who he really is. But most of all let him love you and let yourself love him."
Nodding Tom laid down wrapping his arms about the she wolf while the Eagle stood guard over them as they slept.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"It time, put the plan into action."
"Aye sir, Vorick will take the child and bring him to you."
"Move it, time running out and no brat is going to ruin my plans for this ship or for Paris."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Once Chakotay was sure everything was in place with small smile of reassurance to the group gathered before not sure if it was for them or for himself, "It's time everyone knows what they are to do once Tommy and I in the spirit realm form a complete circle about us I have the lockout for the transporters so they won't be able to beam in but whoever behind is smart and might try any trick in the book, no answering hails or the door I know that it sounds like I've gone over board but we're talking a group of desperate people they know that it's coming to an end and they plan on going down with a fight."
Kathryn lay a hand on Chakotay arm saying, "We understand and will do everything in our power to protect you and Tommy," couching down till she was eye level with Tommy saying, "I just want to say that it was a pleasure having you here Tommy and you're a brave boy and a real brave man."
Nodding Tommy gave her a hug saying, "Tell that to Tom, he needs to hear that every once in a while. This isn't goodbye yet. I'll be here for the others."
Chakotay sat on the floor wearing just a pair of shorts, he usually went on his quest naked but he didn't which to embarrass the females in the room or the males for that matter.
Reaching out for Tommy setting him on his crossed legs wrapping his arms about the child, laying his hand upon the akoonah and begun to recite, " Akoochimoya, We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. We are far from the bones of our people. But perhaps there is a powerful being who will embrace this man and child give them the answers they seek."
Finding his guide and an Eagle waiting Chakotay saw Tom standing off to the side with a huge grin on his face smiling back at him Chakotay moved towards him just as he took his first step his guide told him, "Not now child, it's time for Tommy and Tom to talk." Moving closer to him as she sensed his disappointment rubbing against his legs saying, "It's alright child you'll get your chance to talk with him, but you need to talk to us, now come on."
The she wolf gently pushed Tommy toward Tom saying, "Go talk and listen, Tom know what to tell you as you know what to tell him and he'll listen he ready and now he waits."
Tommy nodded as he gave Chakotay a quick hug then hurried over to Tom, taking his hand Tom lead them over to the water edge where they both sat not sure how to say Tom just jumped right in saying, "When you go back tell them the person is Tabor, he's the ring leader, now that, that out of the way lets get down to what we need to do care to start?"
Seeing identical smiles on both Tom's faces Chakotay nodded as he turned towards his guide and the eagle saying, "He looks a lot better."
Bobbing her head the eagle replied, "Thomas has done a lot of soul searching during his time here, he is ready to join your world again, he wishes to come back and wants to know if you can teach him to come back, that is if you'll still have him." Watching the man before her carefully she knew that the man still wanted her Thomas but Thomas was still unsure and she wanted Chakotay to understand that even though Thomas has made great strides in his life, he still needed to hear certain things from him.
Nodding Chakotay asked, "He unsure if I still love him?"
"He knows that you love him but remember the love he been shown all his life involve him being hurt, people have claimed to love him yet in the end they have walked away from him."
"So he been testing me?"
"In away, but he ready to make this work or he'll step back, he leaving it up to you."
"I still want him but he has to agree to talk to me before things get out of control again."
"He knows he hurt you and wishes to make it up to you. But remember this, he's been hurt a lot and he was looking out for himself, his defenses were up and he never had anyone to rely on before, this is new to him, he's always had to rely himself. Understand that before you make demands on him, he knows he has to work on things and he wants you to help him, he's ready to trust you fully."
Chakotay nodded saying, "I understand what you're saying and as long as he willing to work on things, I'm willing as well."
Chakotay guide nodded as she laid at his side saying, "As long as you work as a team it will work but don't force Thomas to do anything he doesn't want to, he know what he capable of and will talk about it when he ready."
I won't force him."
"Good trust in him and he'll trust you."
Chakotay looked over at the two sitting on the water edge he was glad that Tom had sorted things out, but was disappointed that it took this amount of grief to get him to even try, if he had just asked for help in the beginning, this wouldn't have happened, Chakotay felt his anger for the blond begin to boil.
The two guides noticed that he was getting anger nodding at each other knowing that he needed to calm down before he even spoke to Thomas if they let him talk to him while he was angry would drive the wedge even further in than it was between the two men.
Chakotay tried to get a grip on his temper when he remembered what Tom's guide had told him, his anger left, feeling ashamed of himself.
"It's alright to feel the way you do, Thomas knows that you will be angry with him, actually he expects it and feels that he deserves it for hurting you, but Chakotay don't let him take all the blame for this."
"But. . ."
"But nothing don't lay all the blame at his feet, he didn't know any better, point the finger at the people who really deserves it, like his father that knocked his self esteem till there was nothing left, all he wants is a chance to explain, just keep an open mind and he'll have questions as well answer him as honestly as you can."
Confused Chakotay head snapped up seeking her out asking, "What questions?"
"Ask Thomas."
Chakotay nodded as he looked back at the two missing the look the two guides passed between them.
"Looks like they have finished my child are you ready to talk to Thomas or do you need more time to think?" Chakotay guided asked him as she offered comfort to him.
"I'm ready."
"Send the child over to us."
Patting his guide on her head as he kissed her on the nose saying, "Thanks for everything."
"No thanks are needed but you're welcome, now go don't dawdle Thomas is waiting."
Tom watched as Chakotay walked over to him he had been dreading this talk and had insisted that it happened here with them offering their support, Tom knew that if he tried this without them being here he wouldn't do it he lacked the courage to do it, and no matter what they had told him he knew he was right. Nodding to Tommy as he stood up and gave him a hug, "You can do it Tom I have faith in you."
Tommy smiled as he passed Chakotay making his way over to the two guides sitting down beside the wolf watching the other two with interest.
Tom shifted nervously, dangling his bare feet in the water letting the cool water calm him before turning back to the man who could make or break him with just a look or a word.
Child of love 16
Chakotay sat down beside Tom not sure how to start trying to think of a way when Tom said, "I know that I hurt you Chakotay and I want to apologize, it was never my intention to hurt you but by keeping things and not trusting you to help me when you offered and by turning you down and pushing you away like I did, for that I'm very sorry. I know your guide and mine explained a few things to you but I need to tell you, it was never you. I would have done it to anyone who tried to help me. I don't trust anyone that much. I'm not use to people offering help or support and I need to learn to, but you have to understand this the only person who offered before was Harry he been my friend right from the start while others hated me, yourself included sure we got pass that but we never talked about it, I know you think I betrayed you but no one ever told me why you thought that?"
Shocked Chakotay gasped, "You honesty don't know why?"
Shaking his head Chakotay asked, "Why did you take all that shit from at the beginning for?"
"Chakotay understand this, all my life that the treatment I got it's all I know. I don't know what a normal life is, to me being beaten up and treated like that is normal for me, to me yours and Harry life's are weird to me, being a Paris isn't all its cracked up to be, I know that now but then I didn't, so why did everyone think I was a traitor?"
"Oh my god, I'm sorry Tom, I thought you knew. After you were caught there were transmissions found from the computer in your cabin, it had detailed information about bases."
"Figures but didn't you think it was weird that I was only with you for a week and never stepped foot off the ship? If I was spy I'd have to have stayed a lot longer just how much do you think I could learn about bases I've never seen or knew about?" 
"I honesty never gave it a thought. I was just so mad and wasn't thinking clearly."
"Understood but why was it easier for all of you to forgive Tuvok and Seska for the same than it is for me, I'm still putting up with that shit every turn I make. I have someone in my face throwing my life into the mud, if they think it's was so easy to being a Paris let them live my life cuz as I said being a Paris ain’t easy. Why does everyone think that I had it easy in prison, haven't they heard the rumors?"
"I think everyone is mad because you lead Starfleet. . . "
"Bullshit that just bullshit, all they had to do was ask Janeway and she would have told them that I gave nothing, what could I give her? I knew jackshit."  
That when it hit him right in the middle of his eyes that he had wronged Tom but Tom was still forgiving him for his mistakes while he clung to Tom's mistakes.
"Oh god I'm sorry."
"It's okay you didn't know."
"But I should have all this time you entered a relationship with me and forgave me while I never forgave you let alone to try and find out the truth. Sure I was trying to help you to heal but didn't realized that I had to forgive you for what happened, no wonder you didn't trust me. I'm surprised that you even love me."
Moving closer to the big man Tom told him, "Never doubt that Cha, I never doubted your love for me, and if you're willing I'm ready to work things out with you and to trust that you won't hurt me."
Drawing the blond into his arms saying, "I promise you that from this day forth, I'll never intentionally hurt you, and also if it's within my power I'll make sure no one else ever does either Poocuh."
"I promise the same and to tell you if anything is bothering me. I never want to go through this, but Cha I'm glad this happened not because people got hurt but I learnt things about myself, things I needed to learn before I was able to take the next step and you haven't lost Tommy, at the time Tommy needed to hide and Tom or Big Tom as he calls him needed to protect him, till he was stronger, but it's time for him to have some fun along with Tom. Through all this I feel whole all that time there was apart of me missing and I never knew what it was but now I do."
Nodding his understanding Chakotay kissed the top of his head saying, "Then I'm glad, during that time you were sorting yourself out I got to know more about you as well I saw apart I never saw of you a freer Tom and one I want to know more about, but one that is of age, God I've missed you."
"Missed you as well, but now it's time for you and Tommy to leave things are heating up and Tommy needs to pass on what I've told him. I'll be home real soon Cha."
Hugging Tom to him as he replied, "Love you Doodle bug."
With a fond smile Tom nodded at the name, "I like but keep it off the bridge please."
"What you like?"
"Yeah Tommy may not remember but mom use to call me that before she died."
"Oh Tom." Hugging Tom tighter Chakotay smiled, "Only if you're sure I don't want to bring up any bad memories."
"I'm sure all the shitty ones happened after she died so there only good one attached to that name, now go they're waiting for you, love you."
Waving Tommy over to him as he said, "Love you as well, see you soon."
"You bet ya, see ya soon Tommy."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Once he found himself back Chakotay's quarters Tommy scrambled off Chakotay lap and darted into his bedroom finding what want he was looking for Tommy returned stating, "Ever'thing you wish to know is in he'e, Tom kept a re'ord of eve'ythi'g that hap'ned to him among other things, the pe'ple who one in'ol'e are who you suspe't but the one who been du'king under the ra'ar will shock ya, Cha I hope that you can unde'stan' why Tom neve' did tell you who was be'ind this since it's a friend of yours."
Kneeling in front of the child he asked, "Who is it Tommy?"
"It's someone named Tabor, Tom told me he was apart of your cell and you called him friend."
Tuvok stepped away from the others tapping his badge, "Tuvok to Ayala."
"Here sir."
"Recall Ensign Vorick we know who it is."
"Aye sir."
"Send a team to round up the suspects and include Ensign Tabor on the list."
"Tabor sir?"
Janeway having heard the doubt in the other man decided to help Tuvok out by saying, "You heard correct Lieutenant, don't question your command officer."
"Yes Captain, sorry sir. Ayala out."
Chakotay still on his knees shocked at the file he was reading, dazed he slowly got to his feet hissing, "He is so fucking dead."
Kathryn nodded to Sam and Jeanette to talk Tommy out of the room while they discussed what to do.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tom sat as he waited he wished that he was there when the caught the fuckers sending shy glances over at his guide he had a feeling she knew what he was thinking by what looked like a smile passing over her face he had noticed that before but with her having a beak he was guessing but when he looked into her eyes he could swear that it was laughter he saw there.
Tom scratched the she wolf saying, You know you two need names or do you have them already and just forgot to tell me?"
"Maybe you just didn't ask us."
Rolling his eyes at them as he asked, "Fine may I know what your names are, I feel rather stupid calling you out hey you all the time."
"It never bothered you before Thomas."
With a grin Tom threw are his arms into the air saying, "Fine don't tell me, see if I care, Okay I'll call you Fluffy from now on and you my friend Wings."
Growling softly, "I think not Thomas, Fluffy indeed."
"Well I kind of like it, it suits you."
Flapping her wings saying, "Mmm yes it sounds so right Fluffy."
"Is that so Wings?"
"Hey I like Wings, Fluffy."
"You ever utter that among the others guides, You'll be my dinner Wings."
"I'll never let that name flow out of my mouth. Anyhow I've heard worse."
Fluffy nodded as she laid back down beside the highly amused human, he loved it when the two got into their mock fights, at first it had shocked him that two highly sort guides would and could at a drop of a hat act like children he knew that they liked the silly names he had given them, he was positive that they had much fancy name and he'd never be able to say them.
Fluffy snuggled into Thomas growling good naturally, "You can only tell Chakotay the man you chose for me if you wish."
Stoking her fur saying, "Thanks Fluffy and Wings for letting me use such a silly name for just noble creatures, I'm sure that your real name does you justice, and I hope one day I'll be able to say them."
"We're honored of the names even if they are rather silly but coming from you they show that you love us and because we love you we'll be proud to have them."
Rubbing his head against Fluffy back and stoking Wings feathers saying, "Our time nearly over isn't it?"
"Yes, Thomas."
"Will I see the both of you together again or from now on will it be just Wings?"
"Both of you have over steps the boundaries set in the spirit realm and since you're Chakotay mate Wings and I have decided to share the two of you, so when you come seeking guidance we'll both be waiting, now it's time to return."
Child of love 17
Chakotay sat on his couch as the others poured of the file still deciding to do with everyone in the packed brig, it was narrowed to Throwing them all out airlock or leaving them on some planet, Chakotay knew which one he'd vote for.
When his door slid open, there was a blur of motion as Tommy raced in throwing himself on to the couch and then onto Chakotay lap say excitedly, "Cha, Tom home soon."
Looking sadly he was glad that Tom was coming home but on the other hand he was going to miss the tyke being around, Tommy took note of Chakotay feeling leaning in closer saying for his ears only, "You're not losing me Cha, you gaining the both of us as it is meant to be, soon Tommy and Tom will merge into one person as it was meant to be, but the both of us was to scared to let go, this time with you has shown Tommy that he can be love. I know that I'm younger than when the pain begun in our life's but Tom was protection his inner child which is me."
Chakotay eyes widen as he listened to Tommy taking note that Tommy was speaking perfectly not a misspoken word in fact he sounded a lot like Tom would sound.
Before he could ask about it, a bright light appeared before him sweeping over his living area emerging from to stand before him was the most beautiful woman with long raven black hair that swung free to her hips looking up he saw that she had dusky skin tones and soulful brown eyes if he didn't know better he could believe that she was Indian maiden of the old world. 
Holding out her hand towards Tommy saying, "It's time to return young Thomas, it time for what is to return, you did well everything is as it is meant to be."
Tommy slowly moved towards her as Chakotay asked, "Why did this happen?"
Looking at him she replied, "If we did not he would have died, we sensed his pain and his time was near, those others were going to kill his beauty and we could not allow that, we knew his heart and sent him to you, now it is time for the one you love to return. He did well his pain is gone, it's time for them to return together. Chakotay have no fear you are not losing either of them. For the new one to return we need to merge them together they are one but now they are free to love freer and to live the life that is meant to be. Take care of you mate."
Reaching for Tommy hand the other in the room watched in amazement once she touch his hand he seem to grow as a glow covered Tommy's body as she let go of his hand the glow dimmed and standing in front of them was a softer Tom Paris with a huge grin Tom saw Chakotay before anyone else in the room since he had moved during the rejoining moving over to him Tom threw himself into the big man arms with a laugh, "I'm home."
Chakotay stunned as his arms filled with an excited Tom Paris tighten his hold Chakotay looked over at the alien saying, "I can't express enough or to find the words to thank you for bringing Tom back to us."
"He was never gone, he was always here." Stepping towards them she took both of their hands saying, "You are mates from this day forth."
Chakotay wasn't sure but he felt that she had just married them, looking at her with a questioning look, as she told him, "I did." With that she stepped back into the light and disappeared.
Rushing forth everyone tried talking all at once, Tom turned so that he faced them with a smile, "Woah give a guy time to breath would ya."
Stepping out of Chakotay arms saying, "Boy I'm glad to be back, and yes I'm find and no I don't need to see the Doc but I know that he'll insist that I do but he can wait for a while. Now questions."
Harry shook his head as he said, "Same old Paris never change."
Hold up his hand as he sat down saying, "Ahh Harry, Harry that is where you're wrong, I have change and for the better."
Moving over to the couch Chakotay sat beside him drawing him closer to him as Kathryn sat on the other side of the younger say touching his cheek as she asked, "Are you sure you're okay Tom?"
Snuggling deeper into Chakotay arms saying, "More than okay Captain but I sure did miss you all."
 "We missed you as well Thomas." Tuvok responded as he stepped forth laying a hand on his knee, Tom nodded as he laid a hand on top of the Vulcan's hand giving it a friendly squeeze.
"Do you remember what happened?" B'Elanna asked him.
"I highly recommending spending time with Fluffy and Wings as they can support you through anything as you find yourself."
Tom hid his smile as the roomful of people repeated, "Fluffy? Wings?"
"Yup Fluffy and Wings helped me to muddle through that thing called my life,"
"It would seem it worked for you." Kathryn told him.
Nodding Tom smiled at all of them saying, "It did, I've found what I've been looking for."
Hugging Tom tighter as he kissed the top of Tom's head, glancing around the room he asked, "So what are we going to do."
Jeanette spoke up then, "Hey Tom glad to have you back, now that you're back maybe you can help us decide what to do with them."
Closing his eyes he smiled as he remembered what Fluffy and Wings told him to do about them, opening them back up he told them, "Wings and Fluffy told me that there is a planet not far from here that is safe to leave them but they also said that not all of them are bad that they were pressured into doing what they did and are able to be saved, to find which one they will step up when the time is right."
Sam still in a state of shock asked, "Okay just who is Fluffy and Wings?"
Grinning Tom explained to them, "I can't tell you, I promised them that I wouldn't, but believe me they live up to their names and they’re my friends, that's all I can tell you."
"Then it has to be enough." Sam lean down pulling him out of Chakotay's grip wrapping her arms about him saying, "I'm glad that everything worked out whatever it was it agrees with you, welcome home love."
"Thanks Sam I hear that you and Jean helped a lot thanks to each and everyone of you for helping to get me back."
Jeanette knelt down at his feet saying, "Anything for you Tom, you know that."
Drawing her into a one handed brace along with Sam saying, "I know and I'll do everything in my power to help your man to change."

Nodding her understanding Sam and Jeanette stood up saying, "Thanks but he needs to change on his own but to be honest I don't think he ready to make that change, we're no longer together."
"Sorry."
"Never mind I've found someone better."
Surprised everyone looked at her asking, "Oh who?"
Blushing as everyone stared at her saying quietly, "Pablo Baytart."
Tom nodded before he left he had begun to notice the looks he had be sending her way, "He's a good man, you can't do any better than him, well you can but he’s taken."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hours later, after visits to see the Doctor who confirmed that he was in perfect health from his long stay where ever he was staying since no knew where Tom's body was during that time, after having his nearly broken from all the hugs he received. Finally finding himself alone with Chakotay wrapped up in his arms, he knew that he'd face the others when he was really so he could find out why they decided to do what they did, so he could finally have closure to that part of his life and that he can start looking to the future with Chakotay, without wondering why.
Chakotay was content just laying on the couch with Tom in his arms, he had to admit that he liked this Tom a lot better than the one before and was glad that he didn't lose any of that Tom since that was the Tom he fell in love with, but this Tom was a lot happier and more confidence with himself and others, he could tell that right from the start.
Tom turned so he was lying chest to chest with Chakotay saying, "So Cha are you ready to have a honeymoon to remember?"
Chakotay felt Tom's harden length brush against his, capturing his mouth, Chakotay let his hands roamed over Tom's back till they reached his firm ass, pulling back, "As much as I want to, I think we should have Kathryn marry us."
Pouting Tom claimed Chakotay lips again and begun to move his hips rocking against Chakotay as they deepened the kiss, only to break the lip lock when they ran out of air, pulling apart to quickly remove their cloths, they moved back into each others arms.
Looking up at the his flushed lover above him as they rocked against each other, his hands full of Tom's ass cheeks, feeling his climax drawing close, nibbling on Tom's neck as he threw back his head as he in full throes of his ecstasy he rode the waves of his climax, he always loved watching Tom come, letting himself go with a drawn out groan, Chakotay joined Tom in heaven.
Breathing  hard Tom slumped down he uttered, "If that a proposal, I accept." Laying a gentle kiss on his panting lover below him.
Smiling up at Tom with a grin, "You know we all ready are."
"I know, you're my husband for always and forever."
"Now tell me who are Fluffy and Wings?"
The end.