The Kiss

The Kiss
P/A
Summary: Tom receives a kiss from an old flame, but since the kiss nothing has happened, concerned Tom reflects on the man wondering why he was kissed, then ignored as if nothing had happened.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

'Shit what did he think he was doing? Damn you Gregor all this time you ignore me and then out of no where you kiss me as if you had the right to, damn you why now? Why not when I needed you?'
Sinking into his thoughts Tom went over what happened earlier that day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Stepping from the shuttle from his latest mission that had turned sour, he had been accused of some crime what he couldn't remember just what he was accused of, it took a lot of fancy talking to prove that he was innocent of any wrong doing, he was glad that Janeway and Harry had proven that he was innocent and it was one of their own who had committed the crime. Once he stepped off the 'Flyer surprised to see waiting for him was Gregor Ayala, when he saw the dark haired man who had avoided him ever since they met up again on Voyager, Greg invaded his personal space and without a word, he had dragged him into his arms and kissed him senseless and then left with out a word, reeling from the kiss Tom just stared at the door Greg had just went through stunned.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Fuck you Greg why are you doing this to me now?" Fuming Tom exits his quarters to met up with Ken Dalby and Harry for dinner in the Mess hall.
Entering the Mess hall, Tom nodded to his friends as he scanned the room seeing Greg sitting with his security friends, letting his gaze settle on his ex, remembering the fun they had before he was caught and sent to prison, wishing he could have it back again but it never happened Greg had remained aloof and distanced to Tom, even when they had to work together, Greg had only talked to him if he absolutely had to.
Tearing his eyes away with regret, Tom moved through the line picking up something that looked edible, moving over to join his friends.
Harry watched his friend in concern he had witness the kiss Ayala gave him and saw the confused and hurt that flickered over Tom's face before the mask slipped back into place, he had told Ken about it and wondered why Ken looked angry about it.
Looking at his best friend Ken wondered what he was feeling he saw the confusion over the kiss he knew that Tom tried his best to get over Gregor Ayala but he knew that Tom still loved the man who had and still did believe the lies that were told about his best friend. Looking over at the dark haired man wondering what he was up to.
Smiling at the blond as he set his tray down he noticed that Tom would glance over at Greg out of the corner of his eye.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sitting with his friends, Greg knew when Tom had entered the room, he always did, refusing to look over, he kept his eyes down on his plate, he knew that Harry had told Ken of the kiss from the looks that Ken had given him, he didn't need to explain to anyone why he kissed Tom, after acting like he didn't mean a thing to him when in all total truth he did, after all the years of trying to get on with his life, he still loved Tom but he couldn't trust himself with the man, so he acted as if he didn't care, he watched from a distance as Tom struggled to cope with both 'fleet and Maquis gunning after him and he let them, he knew what they did to him and at the time thought that his ex deserved it all, then things had come into light and changed his mind, he was surprised that it was Chakotay who had found the proof that Tom didn't betray them and in actual fact had saved them all from going to prison, his guilt had kept him from going to Tom again, that is till that day he had heard through the grapevine that Tom had been accused of something, no one knew of what it was since it was being kept under wraps but with the Captain's and Harry's help had proven him innocent, he had rushed to the shuttle bay and waited for the Flyer to land then without saying a word to him, he had kissed him and then left without a word being said.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tom smiled as Ken said, "I'll see what he playing at shall I?"
"Leave it Kenny, he won't tell you anything and you know it, you know what he like better than I do, he has his reasons and when he ready, he'll talk."
Glancing over at Greg, Ken muttered, "Damn him, why now after all these years that what I'd like to know."
"You and me both, my guess is he's letting his pride stand in the way."
"Well that won't keep him warm at night."
"Drop it Kenny please, you know as well as I do how stubborn he can be, god he believed that I betrayed the Maquis and now it been proven beyond a doubt that I actually saved them all from prison."
"Yeah while you stuffer in that hell hole, we believing that you betrayed us and most of them wished that you were raped."
"Well they got their wish didn't they? Not that I'll ever tell them."
"You sure Tommy."
"Fuck no and you better not say a word either Kenny."
"I would if you let me but I won't. I'd never betray you like that."
Staring at his friend since the beginning of the their long journey home, Ken had surprised Tom by standing with him and Harry when they were jumped, the three of them had remained firm friends from that day onwards.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"What the hell is he playing at."
Kathryn surprised at her XO's out burst asked, "What do you mean?"
Shaking his head, Chakotay looked over at her as he said, "While in the Maquis, Greg and Tom were lovers, when we joined forces out here, Greg made it abundantly clear to Tom that he wanted nothing to do with him, and every since they haven't spoken to each other unless it was absolutely necessary. I thought he'd at least make attempt to make amends when it was found that Tom had saved us all from going to prison but he still stayed away till now. I know that Tom stills has feeling for Greg and I know without a doubt Greg still loves Tom but for some crazy reason he has wasted a lot of time by staying away from Tom, when it clear that they belong together, god it hurt to see the love they had for each other back then and then to see the hurt and anger replace the love."
Kathryn nodded as she had noticed the same thing over the years herself, nether men had stayed in any relationships for long, both had ended them, Tom had flitted about but never connecting with anyone, she thought that maybe Tom and B'Elanna had a chance but it turned out that their relationship was a front to cover up B'Elanna and Donna Henley affair, she thought that maybe Tom would hook up with Ken but they had remained friends only, then she begun to notice the look Tom would sent over the dark haired man and then it hit her like a ton of bricks that Tom wouldn't settle with anyone but Gregor Ayala.
With a gleam in her eyes as she asked, "It's long over due for them to talk don't you think?"
Noticing the odd gleam in his captain's eyes, he asked warily, "What have you got up your sleeve Kathryn?"
"I think it's long over due for them to talk, from what I witness Greg has left the ball in Tom's court but he won't do anything. Tom confused and hurting as you said yourself there is hurt and anger on both sides, it's time for some outside help to step in and help them see what they missing out on."
"They know, but they are both hurting, Greg is guilt ridden over what he's said to Tom and not stopping the others from hurting Tom."
"Time for him to stop feeling sorry for himself don't you think? He's wallowed in self pity long enough I think."
"So what the plan, stuck in a tubo lift? Locked in the holodeck till they talk? Or sending them on an away mission."
"No, no and maybe, though all of those are good ideas and might be of use if we can't get them together, actually I like the away mission one."
"We have a nebula on scanners that would make interesting readings but out of our way."
Nodding as she grinned, "Let do this just the two of them, leave the explaining to me."
"Just how are you going to explain sending them?"
"Cross training."
Smiling till his dimples showed, "You're evil, I love it."
"Thought you would. Set up some schedules so it looks like the real deal, knowing Tom he'll look into it to see if it's real."
"Consider it done."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Damn, damn two weeks in a small shuttle with Ayala and no way out of it, shit damn."
Throwing clothes into his bag, since uniforms were banned, he thought that was totally weird but he wasn't about to argue with the Captain, zipping his bag shut, snagging his bear off his pillow slipping it into the side pocket of his bag along with some padds to kill time with a last look about his quarters to make sure he had everything, Ken and Harry had promise to water his plants while he was gone.
With a long sigh Tom walked out of his quarters and headed to the shuttle bay.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tapping his foot with a frown, to say that he was pissed was an under statement of the year, having to spend two weeks alone with Tom, how the hell was he going to be so close and not touch the man? He still felt his lips tingle from the kiss, even at the thought of it his cock would twitch and pulse from the memory of having the slender form pressed up against his body, god he missed the man, he denied his feelings for so long he wasn't sure he would be able to for much longer, deep down he knew that by the end of the two weeks Tom and he would have talked, he looked forward to it, and maybe just maybe Tom and he would be back together again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Pausing in the door way Tom drunk in the sight of Ayala in off duty clothes, in form fitting jeans and a flowing shirt he looked good enough to eat, startled Tom firmly pushed those thoughts out of his head, purposely moving into the room Tom nodded as he asked, "Ready?"
Picking up his bag Greg nodded as entered the shuttle, throwing his gear into the back then moved over to the conn and sat in the copilot chair as he thought, 'He's not going to make this easy for me.'
Taking a deep breath Tom felt his mask slip into place, he didn't need them as much as he did in the past but he felt that he needed it for this trip, it was either that or fled, since he didn't have a say in the matter, he straighten up and joined Greg in the front and without a word spoken they did the preflight check before launching and heading to the nebula.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Two days of ignoring each other, Tom sighed as he felt Greg watching him again, punching the auto pilot before moving to the tiny bathroom, ignoring other man as he stepped past on his way into the bathroom, taking care of business, he heard a noise behind him, turning his head and saw Greg lounging against the door, "Do you mind?"
"No I don't mind Angel."
Pushing pass Greg, frowning when Greg held him fast, "Just what are you playing at Ayala?"
"You use to call me, your Tigger."
"Yeah and you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me, I simply abiding by your wishes, now abide by mine and let me go."
Tighten his grip Greg said, "Not this time Angel, it's time to sort this out between us."
Trying to push past Greg Tom muttered, "I don't think so."
"This has gone on long enough."
Tom calmly said, "And who fault is that? I tried but you brush me off. I guess now that the great Gregor Ayala is ready to sort things out, I'm meant to sit and bend over backward to listen? Fuck that and fuck you let me go."
Greg felt Tom tension as he stood still, he knew that Tom was more than pissed off he was starting to shake has he stared icily at him, "I know I hurt you but you have to understand it from. . ."
Tom shook his head as he said, "I have to understand shit, you refused to talk to me when it was proven I was innocent, I tried to talk you again but you brushed me aside and ignored me like last years garbage, well never again. I have a life now that doesn't involve you."
Dropping his hands down as he whispered, "It looks lonely to me."
"Fuck you Greg, I tried but you didn't want anything to do with me, so I backed off, then you send me for a loop and kiss me, then walked right back out again without one word being said to me, I knew you wanted me to come to you, but I couldn't, why should I pull my feelings on the line when you can't do the same thing for me?" With that Tom stalked out and sat back at the conn activating the privacy shield, locking Greg with everything, while he had the conn fuming as he stared out the shuttle window deep in thought.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Stunned Greg watched as Tom stared out the window sinking onto one of the bunk bed going over what he had learnt and started to see it from Tom's point of view, before it was all about his feelings, he never even gave Tom's feelings a thought, feeling like a prick he felt he was, he laid down dejectedly closing his eyes with a sigh before drifting off to sleep to be plagued with dreams of him and Tom before all the lies started and everything he held dear to him exploded into tiny bits and pieces and disappeared from sight.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tom smiled as he watch Greg slept, he remembered the times he would watch him while he slept, he looked like a little boy, he wanted to sort things out but not like this, he felt like he was being forced into it without his feelings being considered, deactivating the shield Tom moved to stand over Greg drinking in the sight as he stirred, stepping back with his arms crossed over his chest he waited for Greg to wake fully.
Greg blinked as he saw Tom standing over him, sitting up Greg swung his legs over the side of the bed and waited for Tom to speak.
Licking his lips Tom said, "I think we need to try and sort this out, I can't stand this, seeing you and having you ignoring me, I still love you always have and I guess I always will. I tried and failed, maybe with the both of us willing to listen to each other, we may be able to sort out what went wrong and maybe just maybe we can move away from the past and live for the here and now."
"Do you think we can have what we had before?"
"To be honest with you Greg, to much has happened between us for us to have what we had before and I'm not willing to going backwards, I tried that and you saw the results of my attempts, I don't want to go backwards, I'm open to starting over, a fresh start for the both of us. That is if you're interested."
With a smile Greg replied, "I'm more than interested, I've missed you a lot Angel, if I hadn't let my pride and guilt stand in our way, we would have been together along time ago."
"I think we need to move slow, I don't want to just have a relationship with anyone based on sex."
"I agree, we were good together in and out of bed."
Tom nodded as he looked at Greg wondering if they could get pass whatever it was Greg held onto from the past, "Greg I'm not sure if you know this but I've been getting help with Chakotay, he's been great, I know that if I didn't get the help I needed I would've killed myself. I think it might be best if we saw him together." Tom watched Greg closely for his reactions when he smiled Tom felt the last of his doubts slip away.
"I couldn't agree with you more Angel, I have some things I need to deal with as well, Chakotay been hounding me to seek help for it for awhile now."
Reaching for Greg's hand Tom entwined their fingers as he said, "You may wish to talk to Ken as well."
"He knows doesn't he?"
"Harry told him about the kiss, I managed to stop him from having his version of a talk with you."
With a chuckle Greg said, "I don't blame him, he's a good friend."
"Without a doubt."
Rubbing his thumb over the back of Tom's hand Greg asked, "Is it true?"
Tom knew what Greg was asking, he had heard the rumors of his stay in prison, "Yes it's true, the people who wished that it happened to me got their wish, I was owned while in prison. I was traded for goods, used to keep the peace between sections heads, I have scars all over my body and a brand mark on my hip."
Greg stunned froze as he asked, "They branded you?"
Looking at their joined hands tears sliding down his face as he nodded.
Greg felt his ire burn as he lifted Tom chin up saying, "It doesn't matter Angel, I hate that it happened to you and that you had to live with it, but it won't change the fact that I think you're one beautiful man and it won't make me love you any less, it shows me that you're one strong man to live through it and still be the good man I know and I love."
Looking up Tom search Greg's face and when his face lit up like a Christmas tree, "You really do love me."
Looking at Tom as he draw the younger man into his arms saying, "More than you can know Angel, I missed you and I'm sorry for wasting all that time when we could have been together."
"It doesn't really matter, I think it happened this way for a reason, personally I wouldn't have chosen the path I went on but I came out a lot stronger for it."
Tilting his head Greg asked, "Did you go on a quest?"
"Yeah Chakotay felt that I might not be able to tell him everything that happened and asked if I would like to find my spirit guide and I said yes, I've always wondered if I had one."
"I'm glad that you had good friends like Ken, Harry and Chakotay to help you though."
"Me too, Chakotay and I sorted out our problems as well, he a good friend to me once we got to know each other." Tom looked as he debated with himself to asked the question he needed to ask, "Greg why did you kiss me that day?"
With a snicker Greg replied, "My heart acted before my brain did, I'd been thinking of a way to talk you for awhile now and when I found out that you had be arrested for whatever it was and may not return, I felt that my last change to sort everything out with you had slipped through my fingers and when I was told that you were proven innocent, I was so relieved that I raced to the shuttle bay and waited till I saw for myself that you were safe. I didn't think at all, I just acted and left. I'm sorry for the way I acted but I'm not sorry that it got us to talk again."
"I'm glad as well. You know that this is all a setup don't you?"
"Yup I know there is no cross training, this smells like Chakotay's work."
"Nah more likely Janeway, she behind this with Chakotay but I'd bet a months worth of rations that it was her idea."
With a smile Greg tighten his grip saying, "I'm not taking that bet Angel." Pulling back so he could see Tom's face as he asked, "May I kiss you?"
When Tom nodded Greg pulled Tom closer and pulled his head down for a kiss.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"How do you think they're going?"
With a grin as she sipped her coffee before saying, "I'd say that for the first couple of day they would have tried to ignore each other maybe even come to blows before talking."
"They wouldn't have come to blows, verbal blows yes but not hitting and if Greg did hit Tom he'd ruin it for sure."
Looking over at her XO as she replied, "You sound sure of that fact."
"Tom's being seeing me and without breaking my word to him, I can say this to you that he would never stay with someone who hit him for any reason and he'd  never give that person another chance to, and Greg knows that as well."
Nodding thoughtfully as she sipped more of her coffee. Setting her mug down she asked, "He wouldn't, would he?"
"No Greg knows Tom's history as well as we do and he wouldn't risk it if Ken or I found out about it."
Looking over her friend she asked, "You care about him don't  you?"
"Not in the way you think, he's a damn good friend and that's all he is, even if I liked guys I wouldn't stand a snowball chance in hell with Tom his heart belongs to Greg."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Receiving the probe reading."
"Damn Janeway gonna wish she was here with us once she reads these."
Tom snickered, "That would mean no fun for us."
Rolling his eyes Greg shot back, "The fun starts when we're back on Voyager Angel."
Leaning sideway as he said, "You know what I meant Tigger." Tearing his eyes away from the screen long enough to brush his lips across Greg's cheek before starting to read the readings again.
Smiling Greg looked at the profile of his soon to be lover, fighting the urge to run his fingers though his blond locks, he was amazed at how fast they settled things, he knew that he was in for some long sessions with Chakotay to sort out some issues he had over his failed marriage and not being able to see his boys. Tearing his eyes away from Tom as he leant deeper into his chair nearly jumping when Tom spoke, "Well I'm all tuckered out, wanna join me for lunch?"
Nodding Greg stood up and stretched his fingers brushing the top of the shuttle ducking his head to hide the smile as he felt Tom's eyes roam over his body.